New Beginnings
by birthdaycake-storytime-fall
Summary: After Connie's trip to Romania she finds out that she is pregnant with the doctors child. The story follows Connie through her pregnancy as social services test her limits as Connie must prove that she is a suitable mum.
1. Chapter 1

**Last night's episode was brilliant and so exciting. A lot of people on Tumblr are predicting and wanting Connie to get pregnant after sleeping with the Romanian doctor last night so I decided that now was an appropriate time to start a fanfic that I've wanted to start for a while. I've never written Connie before so it's a bit out-of-character but hopefully it's okay.**

Chapter 1

 _*back in Holby, 6 weeks after Romania*_

Connie woke to the sun streaming through her curtains much earlier than she would have hoped. She sat up and looked at her phone just as the alarm went off. She switched off the alarm before getting out of bed and sighing deeply.

It was a Monday and she had a meeting that she had to attend at work that day, although she had a day off the following day. Connie looked forward to the day at home tomorrow, even though she knew it would be spent doing paperwork in her home office.

Stepping into the bathroom Connie turned on her shower before turning on the radio, this made her feel a lot less alone than she knew she really was. Connie undressed herself and stepped into the warm embrace of the running water. The clinical lead covered her slim frame in strawberry scented shower gel as she usually did but today she noticed that she had put on some weight, although not a lot. Shrugging off the slight weight gain Connie shampooed her hair before stepping out of the shower and wrapping herself in a warm, fluffy towel that had spent the night on the radiator.

After drying her body Connie walked through to her spacious bedroom and once again sighed as she stared at the blank walls and the boring look of her bedroom that she had always hated but never changed.

The brunette chose a loose white shirt and black trousers to wear to work that day before noting the time on the clock, she had to leave the house in half an hour. She stepped towards her bedroom door before she felt the overwhelming urge to be sick as she ran towards the ensuite bathroom.

Just over 5 minutes later the clinical lead headed downstairs to make some breakfast, hoping that she'd be able to keep it down. She sat at the kitchen table and sighed whilst trying to get through the half-bowl of cereal sat in front of her. Deciding that she could eat at work when she got chance to have a break she slipped on her heels, checked that everything was in her bag and put her coat on before leaving the house and locking the door.

When Connie arrived she headed to her office as she usually did, still feeling a bit sick but she was sure that it would pass. She dropped her bag by the side of her desk before taking out a bottle of water and sitting down on her chair hoping that the day would go by quickly and without too much drama.

Switching on the computer Connie noticed that she had left herself a post-it note reminding her to go to the meeting with the board later that day. The woman glanced at the clock, realising that she still had an hour to go before the meeting. For the first time in a couple of weeks Connie had nothing to do but wait so she checker her e-mails to find some unimportant ones that could be taken care of later and an e-mail from Grace.

Grace had been very happy in her new school in America as she had made a lot of new friends, something which she had struggled with in the boarding school that her mother had sent her to. The e-mail asked if she was going to be able to visit her mum during the summer holidays as she missed her mother, despite the fact that the pair had never gotten along before Grace had moved. Connie smiled as she knew that her daughter loved her deeply but that their relationship couldn't survive in Holby. Picking up the nearest pen and a post-it note, Connie's favourite office stationary item, she made a note to herself to discuss the holidays with Sam over the phone so that she could arrange time off work for herself.

Sighing once again, the clinical lead left her office to see if there were any patients that she could treat in the next 50 minutes. Her heels echoed through the department but there was barely anyone around to hear them because there weren't many patients that required treatment and the ones that did were being seen to by nurses or one of the junior doctors. Resus was occupied by only one conscious patient who was waiting to be transferred to a different ward.

Before long Connie felt the urge to throw up again and managed to make it to the closest toilet there was just in time, despite the fact it was the men's toilets. After throwing up for a while she exited the small cubicle to be faced with Cal who looked puzzled but decided that asking questions would probably land him in trouble so he left her to clean her mouth and swiftly leave without exchanging conversation.

Eventually Connie had managed to pass the time in her office by reading a few online articles about a new innovative heart operation in the United States and she finally left the office to go to the meeting with the board and the new CEO Henrik Hanssen.

Arriving on time Connie sat around a table with the hospital board to discuss the Emergency Department. Connie did not feel nervous as the department was in good shape and the staff were mostly on time to work. Connie felt proud of the department and of herself as well as the doctors and nurses who saved the lives of many people every day, despite the fact that their jobs were demanding and very difficult most days.

The clinical lead was displeased that she had to do a lot of talking throughout the meeting as she still felt sick and was drinking a lot of water in an attempt to make herself feel a little better. The meeting seemed to go on for a long time, despite the fact that there had been no major problems in the Emergency Department in recent weeks, especially as she had kept her head down since being arrested after Alfred's death.

At the end of the meeting Connie stopped to talk to a member of the board about the upcoming inspection of the ED. After managing to escape the conversation Connie walked quickly to the toilet in order to empty her bladder after all the water she'd been drinking as well as to throw up.

Back in her office Connie noticed the time, it was only 11 o' clock and she was still without any work to do. It would be 6am in New York so she knew that she couldn't call Sam for a few hours at least. Connie checked her e-mails once again, replying to some of the more important ones and deleting a couple of spam messages that had found their way into her inbox.

Connie was interrupted by Tess knocking on the office door. "Come in." She looked up to smile half-heartedly at the nurse.

"Major RTC incoming, 5 cars involved, ETA 10 minutes." Tess informed the clinical lead who nodded.

"How many major and minor injuries?" The slightly younger woman enquired.

"3 confirmed major injuries but the rest are unknown." Tess smiled before leaving the room, shutting the door firmly behind her.

Connie was relieved that there was finally some work to do but she knew that 5 cars was a very serious accident that would require a lot of hard work. The clinical lead, who took her job too seriously, forgot that she hadn't had breakfast that morning and now she'd probably be missing lunch.

As the patients came flooding in, one after another, Connie took care of a 5 year old boy with a large laceration on his forehead and possible broken bones. "My name is…Connie." The woman hesitated as she wanted to make the young child feel as comfortable as possible.

The boy looked frightened but he nodded at Connie as he was wheeled through to resus.

Connie smiled and asked for necessary tests to be run on the small boy as she took a look at the head wound. "What's your name?"

"Harold. Some people call me Harry." The boy murmured almost too quiet for Connie to hear him but she knew that he was afraid.

"Okay. I'm just going to look at your head wound then get you a scan of your brain." She smiled before gathering the equipment needed.

A few hours later the young boy was moved up to a different ward and Connie was hunched over the toilet again.

Connie was beginning to wonder why she felt so sick recently as she hadn't eaten anything in the past 48 hours that could have caused food poisoning. Connie considered a virus but it was unlikely as it was the start of the summer season and she hadn't been around anyone with a virus recently.

 _Could it…no. Am I…pregnant?_ Connie though to herself as she stood up and walked towards the sink to clean her mouth. She knew that she and Alex hadn't used any protection because she hadn't even been in Romania for 24 hours and she never counted on hooking up with Louis' doctor. She was desperately trying to convince herself that it was just one time, but she knew that one time was all that was needed.

Connie walked towards her office once she had composed herself then decided that she could try to ring Sam to try to take her mind off the possible life forming inside of her.

"Hello?" Sam picked up on the first ring, his voice sounded relaxed.

"Hi Sam. I'm calling to arrange plans for the summer holidays." Connie felt nervous, although she sometimes talked to Sam about Grace and how she was coping with her new life.

"Right, what's brought this on?" He sounded puzzled.

"Grace said she wanted to visit me during her school holidays. Did she not ask you first?" Connie tried to keep her voice stable and professional, despite the fact she didn't need to with Sam.

"No, she didn't. I'll e-mail you the time-table as we have some plans. Get back to me when you can. Okay?" Sam still sounded relaxed but as if he was desperate to put the phone down or to do anything other than talk to Connie.

"Oh, she mentioned it in an e-mail to me. I was under the impression that she'd asked you. I'll speak to you soon." Connie hung up as she felt that Sam was just another added stress on her life.

It was the end of Connie's shift so she picked up her bag and slipped it over her shoulder as she grabbed her coat and walked out of the ED towards her car. Relieved after a long, stressful day with a lot of major injuries from the RTC, 3 of who did not make it. The clinical lead wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep but she decided to buy a pregnancy test from the shop at the end of her road.

When Connie got inside the house she slipped off her heels and hung her coat on one of the hooks by the front door. Connie took her phone and pregnancy test out of her bag and put them on the table, she would deal with the test after having something to eat.

Connie sat on the toilet upstairs with the stick in her hand, she knew it could be wrong but she had bought the most trusted brand she could get.

2 lines.

 **I will try to update my Sam story this week as well but this new school is giving me a lot of work to catch up on.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Hi, I ended up deleting my Sam fic because I lost interest in it and I want to try to focus on this one more as well as a few other ideas that I have. Hope you're all okay.**

Connie knew that she had already messed up her relationship with her existing child and having another one would put a lot of unnecessary strain on that relationship.

But she couldn't kill her own child, even if it wasn't a fully formed human yet.

What was she going to do?

Connie decided that she would have something to eat to clear her mind a little bit and then she was going to pour all of her alcohol down the sink so that she wouldn't be tempted to drink any of it when she was overthinking late at night.

Connie stood up and threw the pregnancy test in the bin, trying desperately to forget about it, at least for the time being. She walked downstairs, a little unstable as she hadn't eaten in a while and she was anxious about her future and the future of her children.

Connie was about to reach for a small pot of instant noodles before deciding that she needed something more satisfying to eat for an evening meal. She opened the cupboard where she kept her pasta, canned food, crisps, and chocolate to get out a bag of pasta that she could mix with cheese sauce, broccoli, cauliflower and sweetcorn.

Connie finished her evening meal which left her feeling rather full as she had eaten a large bowl of pasta and vegetables, which she enjoyed but didn't make very often.

She stood up before taking her bowl through to the kitchen and put it in the skink for her to clean up later. The woman sighed before reassuring herself that getting rid of her alcohol would be for the best, even though she felt reluctant to do so.

Connie crouched so that she could reach the back of her cupboard where she kept a large quantity of a mixture of alcoholic drinks so that if anyone came to her house they would struggle to find her secret stash, even if they were to look.

Taking out the 7 bottles, 5 of them having being drunk from, she put them next to the sink and, one by one, removed the lid and poured the contents of each bottle into the sink. The smell of the alcohol almost made Connie want to down it all but she knew that she had to get rid of it for the sake of herself and her unborn child.

Later that night Connie called her daughter, Grace, because she enjoyed hearing her voice, especially on a night before she went to bed. It was going to be Grace's birthday soon and Connie wanted nothing more than to see her daughter but she knew that with Sam and her work it would be difficult so she decided to send Grace some presents then wait until the summer holidays to do something with Grace as a late birthday treat.

As the call ended Connie sunk into her king-sized bed and fell asleep almost instantly whilst her mind tried to relax.

 **Sorry this is short but I have revision to do and the first few chapters will probably be filler chapters but it will get more interesting as Connie's pregnancy progresses. Who do you think Connie will tell first?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **Unfortunately, the half-term does not mean more updates as I had revision to do but here is a little update for you, another filler chapter but the next one should be more exciting. I'm going to try to update at least once a week from now on if I can.**

The next morning Connie woke up earlier than she usually did so she had time to go for a short walk before she went to work in order to relax her mind and collect her thoughts.

After a quick shower and a fruit salad for breakfast Connie took a small bag and her jacket before leaving the house to walk to the local park. She was glad that the weather was pleasant that morning so that she could enjoy the warm atmosphere that befriended the early summer.

Connie found an empty bench to sit down on which was being bathed in the early morning sun where she stayed for a short while, thinking about her future and the future of both her children. Of course, Connie could never ask Grace to return to the UK to live with her because she had a better life in New York than she'd had in Holby with her mother.

If Connie didn't keep Alex's baby she could pretend that it never happened, this way she also wouldn't have to tell Grace that she was expecting another child. This thought struck Connie as the most convenient for her, but it's not what she wanted. Connie actually felt as if bringing up another child, better this time, could make her feel better about herself and give her a purpose in life. But was it fair to dedicate more time to this child than she had to Grace?

A shout of the local school football team brought Connie out of her thoughts as she realised that she had to return home in order to be ready for work on time. She stood up and picked up her bag that held a bottle of water, her phone, her house keys and her purse, although she only really needed her keys to get into the house and her phone for emergencies.

The short walk back to her house made Connie think about her unborn child even more and whether she should inform Alex. For some reason that she couldn't quite work out, Connie had kept Alex's number in a draw in her office at home.

A couple of hours later Connie had changed into clothes more suitable for work and had arrived at the Emergency Department in time for her shift. It seemed less busy than usual, although the noise didn't seem any quieter than it usually did. The clinical lead retreated to her office that was quieter than the rest of the department.

Connie sighed as she sat down on her large office chair, the 'throne' as Grace had nicknamed it during her numerous visits to the hospital when Connie was called into work and unable to find suitable childcare.

The office seemed empty, but it was out of the way of other staff members who she often tried to avoid for a number of different reasons, especially Rita. The calm and serenity of the office meant that, although it was a good working environment, Connie felt as if there was often nothing to do and no-one to talk to. Connie knew that her job did not include being informally social with other people as the interactions she usually had were regarding meetings or patients.

After reading through and relying to some e-mails Connie started on some paperwork that needed to be done by noon, which was only a few hours away, Connie felt as if she should try to treat some patients as a way to keep her busy.

Walking into resus there was a male in his early 20's who had been stabbed 3 times. Tess, Zoe, Charlie, and Robyn were treating him as Connie came over and looked at his notes. "This man has had a lot of accidents." She noted.

"The police are on their way, he's been here before when you were in Romania." Tess explained to the clinical lead, who was now besides the patient's bed.

"Okay. Do we know who did this?" She asked, genuinely curious about this man who seemed to have survived 5 serious injuries in the past 3 months.

"No. Last time he would not let us call the police and he insisted that it was an accident. He fell down the stairs at home. We have reasons to believe that he was pushed but he wouldn't speak to the police." Tess explained further, giving all the information that she knew on the patient that was laid unconscious in front of them with multiple stab wounds to his chest.

"You're waiting for a theatre space?" The clinical lead questioned, although she was positive that she already knew the answer.

"Yes, it shouldn't be longer than 20-30 minutes. We think he can just about last that long, although we're not confident that he can survive the surgery.

"Okay. Good." Connie left towards reception and the main entrance where she saw an incoming patient so she decided to take this case, even if it was just to kill some time.

"What have we got, Dix?" The paramedic came through the doors and explained the injuries that the man had.

When back in resus Connie asked for a name.

"We couldn't find one, but he has a medical alert bracelet." Dix said before her radio went off and she had another shout to go out to.

Connie looked at the elderly man who had a medical alert bracelet for diabetes. He had been hit by a motorbike and his leg was damaged to the point where Connie considered the possibility that he might lose it.

Tess came over as the other patient was stable and helped Connie stabilise the elderly patient before calling CT to book a scan of the man's brain to check for internal head injuries.

"CT will take him now." Tess notified Connie who wheeled the man through the ED to the scanner with Tess at the opposite side of the bed.

When it was finally time for Connie to take a lunch break she was exhausted. The clinical lead hadn't realised how hard she had been working that day as she walked slowly back to her office to pick up her purse so that she could buy some lunch for herself.

Sighing as she sat down Connie checked her phone for messages to find one from Grace who had just woken up after having one of her best friends sleep over at her house. Grace was excited as this was the first time a friend had slept at her house in New York because she had spent a lot of time settling into her new life.

Connie smiled as she decided to reply a little later on, after eating her lunch. She stood up and composed herself before she walked towards the corner shop near the ED; she wasn't in the mood for hospital food today, to buy a pasta salad.

The queue at the shop was short, considering it was 1pm, which made Connie feel relieved because it meant that she wouldn't be standing in the line for too long.

Robyn entered the shop and picked up a bag of crisps, a chocolate bar, and a cheese sandwich before standing in the line right behind the clinical lead. "I didn't think you liked corner shop food. I thought you'd buy lunch at Waitrose or something." Robyn spoke to Connie.

"Yes, well…I…forgot this morning." Connie quickly made up an excuse for buying cheap food instead of better quality food. She was glad that she was now at the front of the line so that she could soon retreat beck to her cosy office.

After paying for her lunch Connie walked quickly back in the direction of the ED, making sure that she didn't make eye contact with Rita who was stood outside the entrance talking to a nurse from a different ward.

Back in the office it was calm and cool, just the way Connie liked it. She tucked into her corner shop lunch, which she found surprisingly tasty, as she replied to Grace's text message.

The afternoon had been very boring with mostly minor injuries and drunken people, which didn't surprise Connie. The clinical lead had found a few items online that she could send to Grace for her birthday as well as a card with Elsa and Anna from Frozen on the front, Connie knew that Grace was a fan of the movie and had always loved Disney princesses.

The end of the shift was still over 2 hours away for Connie, who was now becoming restless. The woman decided that she could have a coffee and take advantage of the calm atmosphere whilst it lasted, as she knew it never did.

Even though hospital coffee was close to water, Connie had gotten used to it over the years, and she'd had much worse coffee before. The warm beverage comforted the clinical lead who had found some papers online that she was reading in order to pass the time.

At the end of another boring shift Connie drove back to her house, as she did every day, to sit alone with her thoughts. Connie felt as though she could kill for a glass of wine before remembering that she had thrown all of her alcohol away due to the pregnancy.

The pregnancy was a difficult secret to keep from people as she knew that it would change her life dramatically, providing she kept the baby, which she was strongly considering. The baby would mean she would have to take time off work to look after herself and her child but she wanted to be a better parent this time, despite the fact that it felt unfair to Grace.

Connie considered calling Grace to tell her the news but she was only 6 weeks gone and she didn't want Sam to find out just yet, afraid that he'd be angry or upset with her, despite the fact that she shouldn't care about what her ex thought of her, it was her life after all.

That night Connie half watched a film whilst completing some paperwork before she went to bed, remembering that she had a day off in about 1 week time. Even though Connie always welcomed a break from work, she felt that her days off were boring as she never had anything to do other than paperwork or watching daytime TV. It was on her days off that Connie felt worst about herself due to the fact that the empty hours reminded her of her friendless life, which she could change if she was a nicer person. Connie had the chance to be friendly when she had started at Holby City ED but she seemed to have thrown that chance away and let her true personality show itself.

Connie considered the fact that she had grown so used to seeing patients with serious injuries come in and out of her ED constantly and that maybe this could be one of the reasons she was so cold towards everyone. Then her mind drifted to the fact that she was so used to shutting people out that it was automatic now, and that she didn't want to do that to either of her children.

 **The next chapter will be the 12 week scan where she tells someone the news that she is going to have a baby. Comments are appreciated and thanks to everyone who had read, followed, and reviewed so far.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Hi! Back for another chapter where Connie tells someone that she is pregnant. I'm officially in year 11 now so hopefully school work won't get in the way of updates.**

Connie sat in her office after arriving almost 10 minutes late due to morning sickness that had left her almost unable to move from the floor by the toilet for 10 minutes. She was reading through her e-mails and making a checklist for what she had to do by then end of the week.

· _Book 12 week scan_

· _Send Grace's Presents to her_

· _Put new flowers by Dad's grave_

· _Organise budget meeting with Hanssen_

· _Book locum for weekend/Monday_

The list looked small but it could take the whole week to complete for Connie as she wasn't getting a lot of sleep recently and most of the events weren't urgent. The woman decided that she needed coffee as she had been feeling too nauseous earlier in the morning to eat or drink anything.

She walked towards the café in reception to buy her usual black coffee, with no sugar, and noticed that the department was quiet for now, although it was till early.

Back in the office Connie felt lonely at the realisation that she had no-one to be there for her as her mother had never cared, her father was dead, she had no friends, and her daughter didn't even want to live with her. Just as the woman wiped away a tear and finished her coffee Zoe knocked on the office door.

"Come in." Connie replied coldly, hoping that it was something important.

Zoe entered the office and smiled. "We have an RTC coming in, 5 casualties, 2 children, and 1 pregnant woman." She relayed the information that she had been given through the red emergency phone only a minute previously.

"Okay, do we know what state the casualties are in?" Connie stood up, feeling a little dizzy but choosing to ignore it.

"Not yet. ETA 3 minutes." Zoe replied before leaving the office and closing the door to gather a team of doctors and nurses to treat the various patients.

Connie sighed as she finally felt hungry, just as she was needed. Even though it was against her best judgement, she decided to eat later on when the ED would, hopefully, be quiet again.

She left the depressing room to the low bustle of the Emergency Department before walking towards reception to find a pregnant patient being wheeled through the department towards resus.

As the next patient came through she decided to lead the case with Ethan, Robyn and Charlie. Dix reeled off the information about the male driver that had taken a lot of the impact.

After being placed on the resus bed the man began to get annoyed at being strapped down on a board. "Get me out of this!" The driver shouted directly at Connie.

"Not yet, we need to make sure there's no damage to your neck or back." Connie was getting wound up as well now as she hated patients who didn't respect doctors or stay still, but she had to remain professional. "Have you been drinking Mr Halas?"

"No! You've got no proof!"

"Charlie, the usual bloods, and a head CT please." The clinical lead was trying to ignore the increasingly violent man as she wanted to treat him quickly to get him out of the department.

"What about my daughter?" The man suddenly seemed genuinely concerned for the safety of his daughter, despite the fact that he was driving in the car with her and he seemed to be the cause for the crash.

"We'll let you see her later. I'm just going to look at the cut on your head. Stay till." Connie ordered. She inspected the laceration that was still bleeding, despite having a bandage on it. "How long until we can get a CT scan, Charlie?"

"Still another 10 minutes, at least." Charlie said, watching a tired Connie sigh deeply.

She clinical lead nodded. "Robyn, could you book an x-ray for his wrist as well please? Charlie, a word outside."

Charlie and Connie left the room. "He's obviously intoxicated and confused. I'm worried that he may have a serious head injury." Connie spoke before Charlie had a chance.

"Yes, I agree. CT are full at the moment and the blood results may also be delayed. It seems that the rest of the hospital isn't quite as peaceful as the ED today." He sighed, frowning.

"Okay. Get Robyn to find the daughter. I'll try to find his medical notes." Connie walked towards reception to track down the patient's medical notes whilst Charlie went back into resus.

Connie found the medical history for her patient without much searching, which was a relief. She flicked through the thin folder to find that he had been admitted a few times for different reasons relating to alcohol. She frowned before returning to resus.

Charlie was trying not to raise his voice as the patient had become more agitated since Connie had left him. He stepped towards the clinical lead to read the notes that she had. "The daughter died, she was only 1." Charlie told his boss who sighed, imagining how this man had become so dependent on alcohol that he had lost his child.

Connie stepped towards the bed and put the notes down before trying to stop him from hurting either himself or someone else. The man was becoming very restless and violent which caused him to lash out and almost hit Connie, who already felt dizzy, and fell backwards onto the floor.

Charlie left the patient to check that Connie was okay as he didn't want himself to get hurt. "Connie? Can you hear me?"

The woman's eyes flickered open as she tried to take in her surroundings, her vision was slightly blurry but she could hear s male voice shouting. She mumbled as she tried to stand up, only to be stopped by the senior nurse in front of her.

"Connie? Are you okay? You passed out." He seemed concerned for the clinical lead who was dazed and couldn't give a reply other than a low mumble.

Zoe and Tess burst into the room with a male security guard to see what the noise was about.

"Charlie, what-" Zoe managed, seeing Connie on the floor.

"Connie passed out. I'm going to take her to a cubicle; you sort out the patient please." The senior nurse helped Connie stand up as he led her out of the room and towards cubicles.

When Connie was sat on the bed she started to feel a little bit better than before. "I'm fine, Charlie."

"I thought he didn't hit you. What caused you to pass out? Did you eat breakfast today?" Charlie questioned, ignoring the previous statement from the woman.

"Honestly, Charlie, I'm fine." The clinical lead insisted, wanting to be left alone in her office for a while,

"I can run blood tests if you won't tell me." The older nurse replied, although it wasn't what Connie had hoped to hear.

"You can't tell anyone." She knew that Charlie would run blood tests and find out the answer eventually and she knew it was easier just to tell him the truth.

"Okay. Is it bad?" Charlie frowned, worried about his friend.

"I'm pregnant." She kept her head hung low so that she couldn't see his reaction. "Yes, it's Alex's before you ask."

"Oh…right." Charlie was shocked, even though he'd thought that she had slept with him during their short time in Romania.

"I'm going to get something to eat." Connie walked out of the cubicle quickly so that no-one saw her and so that Charlie was unable to stop her.

Charlie knocked on the door to Connie's office and went inside before bothering to wait for a reply.

"If you're going to knock you might as well wait." Connie spoken quietly whilst drinking coffee with a half-eaten cheese sandwich sat on her desk.

"Are you okay?" Charlie asked, ignoring the icy remark as he studied Connie's face.

"Yes, I'm just tired. I didn't get a chance to eat this morning because of my morning sickness." She replied honestly, exhausted from the events of the morning and annoyed that it was only 1pm.

"Alright. You can go home early if you need to." The senior nurse glanced at the 'to do list' on Connie's desk before looking back at her.

"I have things to do here. If anyone needs me tell them to find Zoe." She smiled half-heartedly as Charlie left the room, knowing that Connie would prefer to be left alone.

Connie picked up the phone to call Hanssen to arrange a meeting as she hadn't had a lot of time earlier in the morning.

After Connie had spent an hour organising meetings and a locum for the weekend she felt she was able to relax.

Another knock at the door interrupted her as she drafted an e-mail to one of her old colleagues. "Go find Zoe!" She called to the person outside the door.

Zoe stepped into the room. "Sorry, it's me. The last casualty from the RTC is coming in, he was trapped for ages.

"Get Cal on the case with Lily." Connie sighed. "I'm busy."

"Are you feeling okay after you fainted? You can go home you know." Zoe knew that Connie was the type of person that would work too hard, even when she was ill.

"I'll be fine." Connie replied coldly before turning back to the computer, which Zoe took as a sign to leave her alone.

 **Hopefully I can update again soon. Thanks for reading. The next chapter will be a kind of part 2 to this chapter (and will involve a character that I know people will be excited about).**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **Sorry it's late but I was away last weekend and I had exams this week at school. I also now have a new in-school 'therapist' who I have my first meeting with today so wish me luck.**

 **Like I mentioned, this chapter is a part 2 (kind of) to the last chapter.**

Connie had been sat in her office for a while and was beginning to grow bored. The brunette stood up and stretched her aching legs before going to see if the last casualty from the RTC was still in the department or whether he had been transferred.

She left the office before closing the door behind her and wandering slowly over to reception. She was feeling a lot better than she had been before and was growing tired of the same 4 walls of her office.

"Louise." She stood at reception, glancing at the waiting room, which didn't seem too busy.

"Mrs Beauchamp. Are you-" Louise started to ask before Connie interrupted her, ignoring the question.

"The final RTC patient, are they still here?" She stood up straight, as if her back didn't ache from the amount of sitting down she had been doing for the past 2 hours.

"Mr Alex Anghelescu? He's still in resus." The oblivious receptionist answered, wondering why Connie was even asking.

"What…Okay, thanks." Connie was shocked but managed a small smile in Louise's direction.

The clinical lead headed in the direction of resus, almost involuntarily. The father of her baby and, the man who had butchered Charlie's son was lying on a bed in bay 2. She peered through the doors, noticing that Charlie wasn't in there treating him, although Connie couldn't blame him.

The clinical lead, for once, didn't know how to react. As the boss she should go and see how he was doing, and her legs were almost on auto-pilot forcing her to walk through the doors that had been the only barrier between her and the father of her baby.

"He's almost stable." Lily told the clinical lead, who was not fully listening.

Cal was checking the man's stats as the patient began to open his eyes, making groggy sounds as he woke up. "Hello. Can you hear me?" The doctor asked, shining a light in the man's open eyes.

Another groggy sound, slightly louder this time, brought Connie almost fully out of her daze. She stared at the man on the bed, unsure of what else she could do in her current situation.

Lily had already left the room as she saw that she was not needed currently and she had other patients to attend to, although they didn't all have injuries as serious as Alex's.

"I can take over now, Cal, thank you." The clinical lead ordered, rather than offered. Cal knew not to disobey the 'ice queen' so he handed Alex's notes over and left the room without saying a word.

"Connie?" The patient asked, although the clinical lead could only just make out what he said.

"What on earth are you doing in Holby?" Connie was trying not to raise her voice too loud as she didn't want people knowing about what happened in Romania and she didn't want a lot of attention.

Alex was struggling to talk so he pointed at Connie, making eye contact with her.

"Why?" She was being stern and unforgiving, as usual, despite the fact that Alex had been seriously injured.

The man on the bed lowered his arm and looked way, unable to answer the question as he hadn't thought about it much himself.

"Right, are you in pain?" Connie decided not to let the patient affect her and switched back into doctor mode.

Alex nodded slowly, he'd had a CT scan to check that there was no neck damage but it was still difficult to move.

"Okay, I'll get you some pain killers." The woman walked out of the almost empty room as another patient was being wheeled through the doors. She noticed that Robyn wasn't doing anything so Connie sent her to give Alex his pain relief.

It had only been half an hour but Connie felt as though she'd spent numerous hours sat in her office again, thinking about Alex and her unborn baby as well as Grace, her existing child. She thought about what she was going to do in the future and how Grace would react, probably thinking that she'd been replaced. The clinical lead decided that, although it probably wasn't her brightest idea, she'd go back to resus to visit Alex and see about admitting him to a ward seeing as though it was getting late.

She slowly made her way towards resus to find Tess in there, making notes whilst looking over at the monitors.

"Can he be moved yet, Tess?" The clinical lead asked quietly, noticing that the patient was still awake but very tired.

"Yes, in about 20 minutes. There's a bed being made as we speak." The nurse replied, only shortly looking up from what she was doing.

"Okay, thanks. It's the end of my shift so I'm going home. Have a nice night." The clinical lead often enjoyed talking to Tess for a couple of minutes, although she wasn't sure that the feeling was mutual.

"Goodnight Mrs Beauchamp. Hope you feel better tomorrow." Tess replied, remembering that Connie had passed out earlier in the day, although she looked and acted like nothing had happened.

"Thank you." Connie said simply, leaving the room to collect her bag and coat from the lonesome office that she shared with no-one; often she missed Zoe's company but she would never tell anyone.

Back at home Connie considered whether telling Alex would be the best thing, or if she should just ignore him until he gave up and went back to Romania. Despite the fact that ignoring Alex would be the easiest thing to do, she didn't feel like it was the right thing to do.

Choosing to ignore the situation for the time being she decided to Skype Grace, as she would have finished school by now.

Setting up her laptop Connie noticed that she had new e-mails, probably all either spam or work, and so she ignored them to talk to her daughter.

"Mummy!" Grace shouted excitedly, answering the call almost instantly, which Connie did not expect.

"Hi darling, is everything okay over there?" Connie smiled, seeing how happy her little girl was, even if it was without her.

"I'm good. My maths teacher said that she's going to enter me into a competition because I'm very good at it." Grace seemed very energetic, which was usual for her. "And I started a drawing in art of you."

"You drew a picture of me? Wow! Can I see it one day?" Connie was touched that Grace had drawn a picture just of her.

"Yes, but it isn't finished yet." Grace replied, picking up a bar of chocolate and taking a large bite. "Daddy got me chocolate because I'm doing really well in maths."

Connie smiled, congratulating her daughter on her academic achievements that she probably wouldn't have reached if she had stayed in Holby with her mum.

After talking for a while longer Connie said goodbye to her daughter and went to make herself some dinner before going to bed.

 **There will be more Alex in future chapters, a visit from Grace, and Connie has a bigger battle to fight for her unborn child.**


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter skips to 6 weeks ahead when Connie is 12 weeks pregnant and is having her first scan. Alex will continue to be in the story, for now at least, but he is still in hospital in the next couple of chapters. This is a chapter in which it seems as if things are going to be alright for a bit, but will it last for Connie?**

 **Chapter 6**

 _*6 weeks later*_

It was the day of Connie's 12 week pregnancy scan, the first time that she would get to see what her baby looked like. Her scan was booked for 8am, the first appointment of the day, and Connie was starting her shift straight after the scan, this meant that she didn't have to be in work at 7am as she usually did.

The alarm on Connie's phone went off at 6:30am so that Connie had almost an hour and a half to get ready for the day ahead. She sighed as she rolled over to stop the annoying sound that woke her every morning without fail as she continued getting out of bed to start her morning routine.

Half an hour later, Connie had gotten dressed after having a shower and was walking down the stairs to make some breakfast. Connie usually depended on coffee to wake her up on the mornings, especially before work, but had been trying to cut down her caffeine intake in recent weeks due to her pregnancy.

Connie got to work making a bowl of cereal, her usual breakfast, as she half listened to the radio. The news spoke of disasters worldwide and reported on local events, such as the missing boy who had disappeared a week previously.

Connie sighed as she sat down to eat her breakfast, slightly later than usual, meaning she was quite hungry. She sat at the dining room table in the dimly lit room as she preferred low lighting on a morning and in the evenings. The radio was playing music quietly in the background as Connie stared out of the window whilst eating her bowl of cereal.

The brunette finished her breakfast but didn't move until a few minutes as she had been deep in thought. Her mind raced from the baby, to Grace, to Alex laying in ITU. She knew that she'd have to announce her pregnancy soon as she was quickly developing a small bump; she also knew that Grace wanted to visit during the summer so that she could see her mother. The only thing that Connie did not know was what the future held for Alex. A small, evil part of Connie wished he would die so that she didn't have to worry about him, but his condition was improving every day and he would be looking at being discharged soon. Connie wondered if he'd need her help after coming out of hospital until he was back on her feet, as she was almost entirely sure that he didn't have any other relations in Holby.

The woman stood up quickly, feeling light headed, deciding that she needed to wash up after breakfast before drying and brushing her hair, applying make-up, and getting ready for the appointment that was booked for only an hours' time as well as work. She couldn't free her mind of the thoughts that buzzed around her mind, causing her to feel anxious about the future.

Just get through the scan then call Grace to pick a definite date for her staying over, then book that week off work and go from there. Connie was trying to clear her mind by thinking about the things that were certainly going to happen, none of these included Alex.

Connie felt relaxed as she entered the waiting room to check in for her appointment. She'd been through this many times throughout her pregnancy with Grace, so she knew what was going to happen.

Walking up to reception she noticed that there were only a few other women waiting, all of them with a man by their side. She looked around, also realising that she was the only patient dressed up with make-up on. She signed in and was told to sit down whilst her midwife was preparing the room.

"Connie Beauchamp." A voice called, only a few minutes after Connie had arrived.

Connie stood up and walked towards the smiling woman, who was considerably shorter than Connie herself. She put on a smile, trying to mirror the midwife who seemed tired already, but Connie knew what working in a hospital could be like.

"Hello. I'm Sarah; I'm going to be your midwife throughout this pregnancy." The shorter woman introduced herself, having to look up to Connie as she spoke.

"Hi, I'm Connie." The older woman replied, not quite knowing what she was meant to say as an introduction.

"Okay. If you take a seat at the desk here; we just need to go through a few questions before we start the scan." The smaller woman said, gesturing to a desk on one side of the room where there was a blue desk chair and a slightly smaller chair that Connie sat down on.

The women both sat down as the midwife shifted through some paper on her desk, obviously looking for Connie's notes. "So, this is your second pregnancy?" She asked.

"Yes, I had my first daughter at this hospital." Connie replied, wanting to get on with the actual scan so that she could go to work.

"Right…okay." The midwife seemed intrigued by Connie's notes as she continued to ask questions about Connie's first pregnancy.

"Now, as an older woman you may experience some problems with this pregnancy. Obviously, the chances of miscarriage and still birth are increased, but you seem healthy so we shouldn't need to worry too much.

"Right." Connie had never thought of herself as 'old' before but it was becoming apparent to her that she only had a few years left until she was 50 years old.

"We'll talk more about that as the pregnancy progresses. Let's start the scan." The midwife put down the folder she had been studying as she walked over to the opposite side of the room and sat on a chair by an ultra-sound machine.

Connie sat on the bed, with the back of it elevated so that she was sitting up, with her legs out straight.

The midwife squirted some gel on Connie's abdomen so that she was able to see the baby that was growing inside of the brunette woman. The gel felt cold but Connie didn't flinch as the probe was moved around a little bit, in order for the midwife to see the position of the baby.

The midwife said nothing, making Connie curious, as the screen was turned away from her to prevent her from seeing the screen at first.

"Well, you certainly only have one baby in there. The baby has a very strong heartbeat, and is a good size." The midwife said, turning the screen slightly so that Connie was able to see the child growing inside her.

"Thank you. So, there are no problems so far?" Connie was curious about her child, knowing that she wanted to raise this one properly, even if it was without the father.

"No, there are no problems so far. Would you like a copy of the scan picture?" The midwife smiled, still looking tired.

"Yes please, just one." Connie replied, knowing that there was no-one to give a scan picture to. Charlie would get to see the picture, as would Grace, but neither of them would want a copy, especially not at 12 weeks.

Back at work Connie sat at her desk as she gazed at the photo in her hand. A knock on her office door made her put the photo on her desk, face down.

"Come in." Connie spoke clearly as Charlie entered the room.

"Hello. How was the scan this morning?" Charlie was curious, especially seeing as though no-one else knew about Connie's pregnancy so far.

"The scan went well, thank you. The baby is a good size and has a strong heartbeat. There doesn't seem to be any problems so far, which is good." Connie replied, knowing that the scan couldn't have gone any better than it had done. She had been anxious about the scan as she knew that there could have been a lot of problems or illnesses that she wouldn't have been able to handle as a single parent.

"That's great. Congratulations." Charlie said, seeing the happy glint in Connie's eyes that wasn't usually there, especially since Grace had left for America.

"Yes, it is." Connie replied. "I have some paperwork to do today, but I might be out later to do some hands-on work." The clinical lead smiled as Charlie nodded and left the room quietly.

Connie had been through half the paperwork on her desk, and it had only been an hour. She stood up, deciding that she should go and see how busy the department was. She remembered that it was Friday and knew that the patient numbers would be climbing until Monday lunchtime.

The number of patients in the waiting room was overwhelming at first, despite the fact that Connie had expected it to be full. Many people were drunk or shouting, despite it only being late morning. The waiting room held a large number of children with various injuries, as well as elderly people who were prone to falls and tumbles.

Connie knew that the number of patients with major injuries was not as high as the number of patients in the waiting room, but she still didn't want to know how many had already been admitted. As far as Connie was aware there had been no RTC's or major accidents that morning during rush hour, which made her day a lot easier.

She asked Noel if there was anyone who she could treat, but he responded by asking about her administrative work that she was doing.

"I've nearly finished, plus it's very boring." Connie replied, being truthful.

"You could help with the stab victim in resus, only came in a few minutes ago." Noel replied, smiling at Connie who walked away, pleased to be doing something practical.

After treating the stab victim Connie chose to go to cubicles to make sure that everything was running smoothly. She walked through the corridors to find that all the patients were being treated efficiently, no-one was being thrown up on, and no patients were lashing out at their assigned doctors or nurses.

Connie smiled smugly, knowing that her department was running well, even whilst she was in her office doing paperwork. She like knowing that the department could run itself, especially with a baby on the way as she would have to cut down on work hours, work in resus less, and eventually go on maternity leave.

In CDU the situation wasn't much different, although there was less patients and less members of staff. No-one seemed distressed and everyone seemed like they were being treated quickly, much to Connie's delight.

Connie wandered back to her office, walking slowly as she embraced the positive atmosphere that seemed to hang around most of the department, bar the waiting area. She went back into her office to finish the paperwork that she had started, knowing that she'd be finished in an hour.

She sat down and looked at the picture of Grace that she kept on her desk, knowing that she should call Grace once she had finished her paperwork.

Connie ended the phone call with Grace after speaking to her for a while. She had decided against telling Grace about the pregnancy just yet as she didn't want to upset her, but Connie also knew that she'd need to tell Grace before the summer holidays, which were only a few weeks away now. Connie and Grace had spoken with Sam to decide when Grace could come to visit and they had set the date in just over 3 weeks' time. Connie was excited about seeing her daughter, knowing that the relationship had improved greatly since Grace had moved to America.

It was just about time for Connie to have some lunch, and she decided to go for some hot food to feed herself and her baby. There was a small café that Connie could go to for lunch, which she didn't often do, but she knew that she had just enough time.

Connie picked up her bag and a cardigan, as the weather was warm, but not too hot that Connie wouldn't need to be covered to go outside for an extended period of time.

Connie walked over to the café, as it was just around the corner from the entrance to the emergency department. She chose to sit inside, as she didn't feel that it was warm enough to sit outside just yet, although the weather was still due to improve as spring morphed into summer.

A young waitress with green hair came to take Connie's lunch order, making small talk about the small number of customers despite the bright weather.

Connie ordered a small plate of pasta with cheese sauce and a side of salad, as it was her favourite meal from this café. Connie also knew that she could have a main meal for lunch then she wouldn't have to worry as much about dinner in the evening.

After finishing her meal Connie decided that she'd have to book some time off work for when Grace visited in a few weeks' time. Connie knew that many people would want time off during the summer to go on holiday and spend time with their family if they had younger kids.

Connie walked back to her office and started typing an e-mail to send to Hansen so that she was able to take the time off with her daughter. The e-mail specified which dates she would need to take off and the reasons why, Connie also included a strict message telling him that she would not come into work at all during this time, no matter how much the department was struggling as she knew that time with Grace was more important than anything else.

The clinical lead re-read the e-mail 4 times to make sure that she'd made her wishes clear and the dates were correct. She sent the e-mail to Hansen and noticed that more paperwork had piled up on her desk, but not a lot, so she decided to go through it before the end of the day, knowing that it would only take a couple of hours to do.

After just over 2 hours the clinical lead had finished sorting through the paperwork on her desk and had replied to some e-mails that she had received. There was only 2 hours left of Connie's shift so she decided to check on the number of patients.

Checking the waiting room Connie saw that all of the patients from the morning had left, but that there were more patients now than there had been before, most with minor injuries that could be treated quickly.

In cubicles there was a man who was throwing up on Lofty, but Connie didn't want to intervene so she walked away, seeing that there was a girl in the next cubicle with a few cuts on her head and her wrist in a sling. The girl looked a lot like Grace, which shocked Connie at first but she soon saw that the child was not Grace and quickly walked away, not wanting to stay in cubicles anymore.

In CDU there were hardly any patients, and they were all being seen to quickly by the small number of doctors that were in CDU. Connie noticed that Dylan was sat at the desk, as he usually did, researching something on the computer, which he seemed to find very interesting. Connie walked over to the desk to find that Dylan was shopping for a new dog bed.

"Dylan, don't you have patients to treat?" Connie asked sternly, as Dylan bookmarked the page he was on.

"There aren't many patients in here, and they're all being treated by someone." Dylan replied, not showing any sign that he really cared about the welfare of patients.

"There are a lot of patients in the waiting area, I'm sure they'd love the privilege of being seen by you today. Get on it." Connie replied smugly, leaving CDU before Dylan was able to comment or reply back to her.

Resus was almost empty, apart from one patient with a large laceration on her head and a badly cut up arm, Zoe seemed to be leading the case flawlessly with Rita and Tess assisting. Connie smiled as her department was still running well without her.

Connie checked the HDCs but she found that there were no major injury patients in there so she quickly left, knowing that she was not required to be there if there was no-one that required her help.

She quickly walked back to her office, where she found Rita waiting outside. "Rita. What are you doing here? Don't you have patients to see to?" Connie asked, wondering what the clinical nurse manager was doing outside her office, and how long she had been there.

"I'd like a second opinion on a patient. She has glass embedded in her arm, but she also seems to have a foreign body that looks as if it's from an older injury." Rita spoke, trying to be confident in front of the clinical lead. She handed the iPad over to Connie who frowned at the x-ray in her hands.

"Get the general surgeons down to look at it, they'll tell you if the old foreign body needs removing or not, they may also ask for another x-ray." Connie replied, knowing that the placement of the foreign body would decide whether or not the patient needed surgery to remove it in the near future.

"Okay, but the patient says that she doesn't remember how the foreign body got in there so she doesn't know what it is." Rita mentioned, interested in the case.

"Either A) she's lying or B) she's not lying, either way it doesn't actually matter. Now, I have a lot of work to do." Connie replied, going into her office before Rita was able to reply, leaving the blonde nurse to get on with treating the patient in resus.

Connie sat down behind her desk and sighed, getting bored with the small workload that she had, considering that many patients waiting were drunk or had been through triage and were waiting to be seen.

Connie knew that her shift would be over soon and that there wasn't much that she could do so she decided that she could finish early to visit Alex, just to see if he had woken up.

As Connie put on her jacket and picked up her bag Charlie walked into the office.

"Leaving early?" Charlie questioned, knowing that it wasn't like Connie to leave work early, even if it wasn't very early.

"Yes, I'm going to see if Alex had woken up yet. There's not much to do here anyway, most patients are being seen to and all my paperwork is done." Connie replied, not wanting to be held back as she was looking forward to leaving early.

"Okay then, see you tomorrow." Charlie replied, not wanting to question Connie on her decision to see the father of her unborn child, even though he had cut up his son for money.

Connie walked away without saying goodbye, knowing that Charlie would respect her decision but would probably not fully understand it.

Alex was still in a coma, and it was unclear as to whether he was going to wake up or not. Connie sat next to his bed for a short while, hoping that no-one would walk in, thinking silently to herself about the future, especially Alex's future.

The clinical lead knew that Alex's future wouldn't have made any difference to her life until he showed up at Holby with the sole purpose of seeing her, although she wasn't sure why he wanted to see her because she definitely didn't want to see him ever again, and she thought that she'd made that clear in Romania.

The clinical lead decided that she should leave, considering she was in ICU outside of visiting hours and that she'd be told to leave if anyone saw her sat with Alex. She stood up and headed out of the double doors that lead her into the corridor that she hadn't been in many times.

Back at home Connie made herself a small salad, choosing to eat something later if she felt hungry. She sat on the sofa to eat her salad whilst watching a documentary about plants used in herbal medicine. She finally felt relaxed, but not bored and she felt at peace with herself. She was looking forward to having a baby and seeing Grace in just a few weeks' time.

 **This ended up being a very long chapter, which I didn't expect. I do have an idea for the main story line of this story but if anyone has any suggestions them PM me or write it in the comments. Also, I haven't decided whether Alex should live or die yet, so if anyone had any preferences regarding that, let me know.**


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter is when everything goes wrong for Connie very quickly, she realises that she has to change elements of her life in order for her to be able to keep her child. She is 15 weeks pregnant in this chapter.**

Chapter 7

Connie woke up still feeling tired, but she knew that she only had to work 2 more shifts until Grace's visit. Her 16 week pregnancy scan was booked for next week, whilst Grace was staying over, but she hoped to break the news to her daughter before then.

Connie's phone started ringing, which annoyed her as she had only just woken up. She picked up her mobile from its place on her bedside table before seeing that it was an unknown number. She wanted to ignore the call but at this early in the morning she knew that it could be important.

"Hello?" Connie said groggily, her body still full of sleep.

* * *

Connie walked into work as moody as ever, which was obvious to the rest of the staff. Connie made a beeline for her office where she could hide from the rest of the world for the day. Connie had skipped breakfast that morning, only having a glass of milk to sustain her until lunchtime, as she wasn't feeling up to eating.

The clinical lead sat in her office undisturbed, as people had noticed her bad mood as she entered the ED that morning, so that she could fill in paperwork that she had to do.

She had been sat in the office for 3 hours when she heard the first knock of the day. Connie did not want to know who was behind the door, or their reason for knocking, but she called the in anyway.

Charlie, the only person that Connie was semi-pleased to see walk into her office, came in and sat down on the seat opposite her desk.

"Connie, is everything okay?" Charlie questioned, knowing that Connie's usual bad moods were nothing in comparison to what he had seen from her that morning.

"I don't want to talk about it. Please close the door on your way out." Connie said, trying not to show any emotion.

"Connie, you know that you can trust me." Charlie pressed, knowing that Connie would give in sooner or later.

"Do you promise not to tell anyone?" Connie asked, looking up from her paperwork to make eye contact with Charlie.

"Yes, I promise not to tell." Charlie replied, his voice full of sincerity.

"I got a phone call this morning from social services. They know that I'm pregnant and they want to investigate and run an assessment on me because of what happened with Grace." Connie replied, spilling everything to Charlie.

"Oh, from when they were worried that you weren't caring for Grace properly?" Charlie asked.

Connie only nodded in reply as she looked down at the paperwork on her desk. Charlie sensed that she wasn't in the mood to talk to him, or anyone else, at the moment so he left silently.

She sat and thought about the future of her child, as she was unsure about whether social services would see her as a fit mother. She knew that they were just making sure that Connie was a safe parent but she still had her doubts.

She opened her e-mails, reading one from Grace, as she thought about the social services visit later on that evening, after her shift at work. Connie knew that she'd poured all of her alcohol down the sink when she first found out about the pregnancy as well as decreasing the amount of caffeine she had, especially first thing on a morning.

The e-mail from Grace expressed her excitement about the visit; as she was due to arrive in just 2 days' time. Connie had been looking forward to Grace visiting and hoped that social services would not get in the way of the visit as she didn't want to ruin the relationship between her and her daughter after it had just been repaired.

She replied to the e-mail quickly, knowing that she could think of what she would say to Grace over the course of the next couple of days. Then Connie checked, read, and replied to more e-mails, most of them regarding work.

* * *

The end of the shift had arrived before Connie had even realized it, and she knew that she hadn't eaten all day. She decided that she could get a pasta salad on the way home and eat it before the social worker came round.

The clinical lead locked her office, after being sat in there all day due to the lack of major injuries that needed her skills, and left the department straight away, as people knew that disturbing the doctor could have serious consequences.

She sat in her care and put her bag on the passenger's side, realizing that she'd need a booster seat for Grace's visit. There were a lot of things that would change about Connie's life and house whilst Grace visited and as she prepared for her baby to be born. Connie wanted Grace to be involved in the baby preparation process but she knew that Grace could still hate the idea of a child if she felt that she was being replaced.

Driving to a local Tesco's Connie got out and quickly went inside to buy a pasta salad for her dinner knowing that she had to be home soon for the social services visit. Connie decided on a small pot of pasta with cheese sauce and sweetcorn to fill her up, as well as a bottle of water.

After paying she went out to her car and sat down, taking a sip of the water before driving back to her house.

* * *

Connie was in the kitchen, putting the rubbish from her pasta salad in the bin when she heard a knock at the door. Connie smoothed down the clothes that she had been wearing for work, even though she would usually have changed into pyjamas before going to answer the door.

"Connie Beauchamp?" The woman questioned. Connie presumed this was the social worker as she was as smartly dressed as Connie and held a notebook and some files in her hand.

"Yes, come in." Connie stepped to the side to let the social worker in, although she didn't particularly want to.

"Hello, I'm Lorraine. I'm here to run the initial assessment of you and your home to ensure that a child would be safe and well-cared for." The woman answered, barely pausing to take a break.

"Hello. Would you like a drink? Tea or Coffee?" Connie asked, knowing that she had to be as polite as possible, despite how she was feeling. She knew deep down that this particular social worker was not to blame for the assessment; she was just here to assess the house and take notes.

"Not right now, thank you." Lorraine answered. "Could I have a tour of the house?"

"Yes of course." Connie replied, showing the social worker through to the living room and explaining how she would make it safer for a young child if she needed to when the baby arrived.

Then Connie showed the social worker through to the kitchen, explaining that a baby gate could be put on the door from the living room to prevent the child from being injured in the kitchen if Connie's back was turned.

Lorraine kept making notes and nodding as Connie explained how she was willing to change the house to make it safe for a child.

* * *

After finishing the tour of the house Connie put the kettle on to make herself a cup of tea and to make the social worker a cup of coffee. The two women sat down in the living room whilst the kettle boiled and Lorraine explained the process and that she'd need to ask Connie a few questions before she left.

Connie excused herself for a moment as the kettle boiled, and returned a minute later with 2 hot cups, placing them both on the table.

"So, you need to ask some questions?" Connie asked, after taking a sip of her tea.

"Yes." Lorraine answered, placing her cup back on the table. "How would you plan to change your shifts at work to fit in with the baby?"

"I would take maternity leave, probably for 6 months after the baby has been born, and then change my shift times so that I was here at night. I'd probably be looking at shorter shifts as well." Connie replied, hoping that it was the model answer.

"If it came to it, would you step down from your role as clinical lead to take care of your child?" The social worker asked, making notes in her notebook again.

"Yes, of course. I would do anything for my child." Connie replied, not being able to think of a situation with her child that would cause her to have to stop being clinical lead.

The social worker kept making notes and asking a lot of questions, most which Connie didn't wish to answer.

* * *

After a while the social worker stood up and told Connie that she'd be in touch by the end of next week. This made Connie feel relieved as the social worker showed herself out, knowing that Grace's visit would be uninterrupted. Connie realised that she hadn't mentioned Grace's visit to the social worker, but knew that it didn't make much of a difference if they wouldn't be in touch until after Grace left.

Connie knew that a pasta salad was not enough food for one day so she decided to make herself a sandwich before she settled down for the night. It was only 9pm but Connie was exhausted and she was undernourished.

She went back into the kitchen, glancing at the clock on the wall so that she could make a note of the time, and made herself a ham sandwich to keep her blood sugar up so that she wouldn't get ill.

Connie then ate the second dinner for herself then put her plate back next to the sink so that she could wash it up in a bit.

She went upstairs to get changed into her pyjamas so that she could go to bed when she was ready, instead of having to get changed later when she was feeling too tired.

 **I hope you liked that chapter, I actually almost forgot to write it but I was 'ill' on Friday so I took the day off school. Next week's chapter will focus on Grace's visit, then I'll be breaking up for the school holidays so I may be able to upload more frequently.**

 **Please leave a review if you have chance.**

 **Thanks for reading.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I may be able to update before next weekend as this week is the last full week at school, although I also have to go on Monday and Tuesday of next week and then the rest of the week I'm out for a few hours each day. I'm having a really hard time at the moment, mentally, so I may either not feel motivated to write a lot or I may write to fill my time and keep my mind occupied.**

 **This chapter is the start of Grace's visit. Please review at the end.**

* * *

Chapter 8

Connie's car pulled up outside her large house with Grace sat in the front passenger's seat, after having just arrived from the airport. Grace had been thoroughly enjoying herself in New York with her father but she was also very excited to be visiting her mother back in England.

Grace practically leaped out of the car and took her bag to the front door, where she waited for Connie to unlock the entrance to the place she had once called home. Connie unlocked the door to her home as Grace dropped her bag in the living room and sat on the sofa, able to make herself feel at home very quickly, despite the fact that she hadn't been in the house for a few months.

Connie placed her bag neatly by the side of the sofa, unlike Grace, and slipped her shoes off before placing them onto the shoe rack in the hallway. Grace took of her shoes and placed them next to Connie's shoes, but made no effort to move her bag. Grace's suitcase was still in the boot of the car but Connie decided to take it out later once Grace was settled.

"You must be starving Grace. What do you want for lunch?" Connie asked as she sat on the sofa for a moment, having spent the majority of her morning driving to and from the airport to see Grace.

"I'll have some pasta please Mummy. Did you get the cheese sauce that I like?" Grace asked sweetly, her attitude towards her mother had changed considerably.

"I did get the sauce you like, just as you asked me to." Connie replied, as Grace had given her a list of items to buy before she arrived. "I'll start making it in a minute."

"Okay, thank you Mummy." Grace replied, looking forward to the week ahead of her.

After Grace had quickly eaten her lunch Connie got the suitcase from the car and Grace took it upstairs to her bedroom, which was still decorated with the pink wallpaper and duvet set that had been sat like a statue for the past few months.

The pair had the afternoon to spend together, either at home or having a few hours out, Connie decided that she'd let Grace decide. It was still only early afternoon as Grace's flight had been early, but she said that she wasn't too tired.

"Grace, what do you want to do today?" Connie questioned, secretly hoping that her daughter would want to stay inside.

"I'd really like to sit with you and watch Disney films." Grace replied, making her mum very happy as Connie was unsure whether Grace would want to spend her time with her mother, but apparently she did.

Connie smiled. "Okay, let's do that. Have a look through the TV channels; there may be something on Sky Movies Disney that you want to watch." Connie mentioned, knowing that Disney Channel and Sky Movies Disney were her two favourite channels.

Grace picked up the remote from the TV stand and came to sit next to her mum as she flicked through the channels and put on Toy Story, which had only started a few minutes previously.

Both females had eaten only shortly before so film snacks weren't necessary at first, but Connie knew that Grace would be asking the break out the popcorn half way through the movie.

* * *

After the film had ended, and the two women had eaten their way through an entire bowl of popcorn, Connie and Grace both found themselves restless and they knew that concentrating on another movie would be difficult for them both.

"What shall we do not, Grace?" Connie asked.

"I don't know mum. We could make a list of everything that we want to do this week." Grace suggested, after some hesitation.

Connie nodded and asked Grace to get some paper from the printer in the corner of the room. Grace obeyed and brought a piece of paper over to the coffee table whilst Connie got out a pen.

After only 10 minutes the list was complete, with room for changes, but with no set times written down as the week was going to be really relaxing and stress free.

· Go to the Zoo

· Visit Uncle Elliot

· Go to the cinema to see Big Hero 6

· Go to the park, then get ice cream from the café

· Go shopping in the city centre for clothes

· Visit Maria (Grace's old school friend)

· Go to the art gallery

All of Grace's favourite activities were on the list, especially as there wasn't an art gallery in New York near to where she was living, and the art gallery in Holby had an area for kids to interact. Her old boarding school friend, Maria, was going to be home for the holidays and Grace had already arranged to meet with her whilst she stayed in Holby as another chance would not be likely.

Connie planned to tell Grace about the pregnancy over dinner that night, hoping that she wouldn't receive a negative reaction. They still had a few hours until wither of the females would be hungry again so Grace suggested that they went to the park that afternoon, and that they could go back again to get ice cream.

"That sounds like a good plan, Grace." Connie replied. "Let's get changed then we can go."

* * *

At the park Grace went on the swings while Connie sat on a bench not too far away, watching as another woman sat next to her bottle fed her son, who seemed to be about a year old. Connie felt as if the future was less scary with her child, providing that social services saw nothing wrong with her parenting, as she felt that she could be a good mother if she had another chance.

Grace seemed more than happy to run around the playground as she constantly moved from one activity to another every couple of minutes. Connie watched as she hadn't seen her daughter this happy in a very long time and she was glad that the relationship was improving, hoping that news of a baby sibling wouldn't destroy what had only really just begun.

Another young girl, approximately the same age as Grace, approached her and they started talking whilst Connie admired how quickly and easily her daughter seemed to make new relationships.

After a short while the mother who had been sat next to Connie called her daughter over as she wanted to go home, as Connie realised that it was the girl that Grace had been chatting to she called Grace over as well, planning to go home for dinner.

Both girls came running over as they bid farewell to each other, the mother who had been sat next to Connie said goodbye to her as she left, Connie smiling back.

* * *

Back at home Connie started heating up a frozen pizza from Waitrose for her and Grace's dinner, it was a favourite meal of Grace's with crisps and apple slices on the side.

Grace sat in the living room watching Frozen, despite the fact it had already started, and singing along to all of the songs, which made Connie smile as she felt that Grace was finally happy.

Connie returned to opening 2 bags of crisps and pouring the contents onto plates to go with dinner before she picked up an apple and began slicing it, putting half on a plate for her and the other half for Grace. She poured a glass of water for herself and a glass of orange juice for Grace as she waited for the pizza to heat up, which didn't take very long.

The timer next to the oven went off to signal that Connie had to check on the pizza, noticing that it was fully cooked she took it out of the oven and placed it on a pizza cutting board.

Slicing the pizza into 6 even slices Connie put 3 slices onto her plate and the remaining three onto Grace's plate before placing the board and pizza slicer next to the sink to be washed up later.

Connie carried the glass of orange juice and the plate for Grace into the living room, deciding that she didn't feel like eating at the dining room table.

"Thank you, Mummy." Grace replied, putting the plate on her lap as Connie walked back into the kitchen to retrieve her food.

The two sat down to eat their meals, Connie imagining the conversation for a few minutes as Grace seemed fixated on Frozen.

Grace quickly ate her apple and crisps before moving onto the pizza, which had cooled slightly so that it wasn't too hot to eat.

Connie finished eating her crisps slowly, before moving onto her apple slices whilst Grace had almost finished her pizza, still focused entirely on the movie on the TV.

After Connie had finished her meal she placed the empty plate on the coffee table in front of her.

"Grace, can I talk to you about something for a minute?" Connie asked shyly, despite being the mother, whilst the advert break started which meant that Grace would be more likely to listen and talk to her mother.

"What is it mum?" Grace replied, a worried look on her face.

"I…I found out recently that…that I'm pregnant."

* * *

 **I'm ending on a cliff hanger but the next update should be within the next week. I got my work permit today so I'm officially allowed to do my job as a paper girl, which will take up some of my time but I'll still have a lot of time in the evenings to write most days.**

 **Hope you enjoyed this update, please review as they mean a lot to me and motivate me to keep writing.**

 **I've considered writing another story but I don't know if people would want me to or if they'd even like the idea. PM me to let me know, the story would be about Dix adopting a child, but the story has a bit of a twist.**


	9. Chapter 9

**This chapter continues Grace's visit where they go shopping and go to the cinema, but first is Grace's reaction to the pregnancy.**

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

Grace sat for a minute, trying to take in the news that her mother had told her only moments before.

"You're pregnant?" Grace asked, trying to comprehend the information. She looked down to her mother's abdomen which was hidden by a loose blouse, making it difficult to tell just how far Connie was.

Connie nodded, trying to interpret the expression on Grace's face. "I know it might make you feel upset, but I didn't plan to have the baby, and I'm not replacing you."

Grace sat expressionless; not moving at all, as she stayed looking at Connie's top, trying to see the small bump that was forming.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Grace asked.

"I don't know, I find that out next month, I'll let you know when the doctor tells me." Connie replied.

"When will the baby be born?" Grace replied, finally making eye contact with her mum.

"In February, I still don't know the exact due date." Connie answered, thinking about how much her life would change with the baby and social services, which she was hoping to keep from Grace unless she needed to tell her. "I have a scan this week, and I thought you'd want to come and see it with me. We might be able to visit Uncle Elliot afterwards." Connie coxed, hoping to get a clear reaction from Grace.

Grace sighed, thinking about the past five minutes and wondering if her mum had meant what she said when she told Grace that the baby was unplanned. "Okay." Grace spoke with an icy tone in her voice. "I'm going to go upstairs for a bit, I'm pretty tired." With that last comment, Grace ran off upstairs into her bedroom whilst Connie sat on the sofa silently crying.

After an hour and a half Connie decided to go up to Grace's room, hopefully the news had sunk in by now and she'd be able to talk to Grace properly.

She walked upstairs slowly before entering her own bedroom and changing her top so that she was wearing a tighter t-shirt that showed her bump a lot more.

She crossed the landing to Grace's bedroom door before knocking three times, waiting for a reply.

"Yes." Grace said quietly, almost so that Connie couldn't hear it.

Connie pushed the handle down and walked into the room. Grace was sat up on the bed, but it was obvious that she'd been lying down for a while.

Connie smiled and walked over to the bed, sitting on the side close to Grace, who was looking at Connie's bump again.

"I know that it's a lot to take in, but I promise that I'm not replacing you. If I could help it I wouldn't have gotten pregnant, you'll understand when you're older." Connie said, as it was becoming clear that Grace wasn't going to speak unless prompted.

"It's okay, I kind of understand. I don't hate you, you know?" Grace replied. "I was just shocked."

"I know, and that's understandable." Connie said, placing a hand on her bump.

"Does the baby kick yet?" Grace asked, reaching a hand out to the bump before pulling it back.

"No, it doesn't. But you can still touch it if you want to." Connie said, taking Grace's hand and placing it on the small bump.

Grace sat silently for a moment, and then moved into a comfier position. "You'll let me visit when the baby has been born, won't you?"

"Of course, I'll send you lots of pictures as well. I might even be able to come to New York when the baby is born, if you're not on a school holiday." Connie replied, glad that her daughter still loved her, despite the pregnancy.

It was getting very late so Connie decided to go to bed, knowing that she had a busy day the next day when she went shopping with Grace.

* * *

Connie woke the next morning with Grace lying next to her, although she hadn't felt her daughter climb into bed at all during the night. The sunlight was streaming in through the curtains to give the room a lovely morning glow. Grace looked really peaceful as she slept so Connie decided that she would wake her daughter after having a hot shower.

She sat up and sighed, she had a lot on her mind and the fact that she had a week off work didn't seem to make a difference to her tiredness. She had thought a lot the night before about social services, as she wanted Grace to be oblivious to the poor parenting that social services expected from Connie. Connie wished that social services would let her keep her child so that Grace could meet her younger brother or sister; otherwise Connie felt that Grace would be disappointed.

Connie took a pair of black trousers and a tight plain red vest top from her clothes drawers and went into the bathroom, looking back to check that Grace had stayed asleep. She turned the shower on and stripped her clothes as she stepped into the shower.

* * *

After Connie had make breakfast for herself and Grace, once Grace had finally woken up, she put her phone, purse, umbrella, Grace's coat, and some chewing gum in her bag as she prepared to go shopping.

Grace had some money that Sam had given her in British Pounds so that she could buy some things for herself but Connie was also sure that she'd be spending a lot of money on Grace and herself, which she didn't mind as she had quite a lot of money to spend.

The two women left the house and got into the car, Grace moved her booster seat into the front passenger's seat of the car, so that they could drive into the city center to go shopping.

Grace talked over the radio throughout the whole journey, but Connie didn't mind much as the radio was usually ignored and used as background sound to make Connie feel less alone.

Grace spoke about how excited she was to see the baby, which made Connie feel even more nervous about social services but she knew that she just had to prove that she could be a good parent, and then there'd be no problem.

* * *

The two females arrived in the city center and, after Connie had finally found a parking space, they headed towards the shops to buy lots of summer clothes for Grace. Grace had been very excited to buy some new clothes as her school in America did not have a uniform so she was looking forward to having new clothes to wear when school started again.

First Connie took Grace into next to choose some dresses and t-shirts, most of which were pink or purple in colour. Grace chose a dress with a white background and a pink rose pattern all over it, a white lace dress, a purple and pink striped t-shirt, a purple t-shirt with an ice cream picture on, and a pink t-shirt with a ginger kitten on which said 'Purrr-fect'. Grace had also picked out a white and yellow striped baby grow for when the baby came, which Connie went with because she hadn't done any baby shopping at all yet.

Connie picked up a few maternity dresses that would be suitable for work when she needed them, as there was a maternity sale on in Next at the time.

After going into Next, Topshop and Marks & Spencer's Connie decided to let grace buy some books from WHSmith. Grace had loved reading when she was younger, especially as a toddler, but she had gotten too old for kids books now and Connie showed her where there were some books that would be suitable for her, such as 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' and some Jacqueline Wilson books. Despite the fact that Grace wasn't as much as an avid reader as she used to be, she was excited about trying the books that she had got form WHSmith, as well as a colouring book to keep her entertained on the flight back to New York.

It was 12:30, which meant that Grace was becoming hungry and irritated, so Connie decided to go to Subway before going to the cinema to see Big Hero 6. Grace went to find a table after telling Connie her order and was glad to relax after walking for a couple of hours.

Grace had insisted on buying some baby items as she was unsure about whether she'd be able to visit her mum before the baby was born and she wanted to a part of the preparation. Grace had 5 bags full of clothes, there was a bag full of baby clothes, and 2 bags with some clothes, books, and other items for Connie as it was easier to shop all at once, although they had to do a big food shop later on in the week.

Connie walked over to the table with the food and sat down, exhausted after all the walking she had done that morning. She had ordered a foot long sub for each of them, hers with tomato, cucumber, and lettuce. Grace's sandwich had tomato and cucumber inside; Connie had also got a cookie for her.

They quickly finished their food, evidencing how hungry they had both been, and left the shop, both carrying some of the shopping bags. Connie suggested getting a bag of sweets to share whilst watching the film so her and Grace went into a Tesco that they passed on the way to the car and purchased a sharing bag of galaxy counters to eat during the film.

* * *

After the film had finished and all the chocolate had been eaten Connie and Grace walked back to the car, discussing the movie.

It was beginning to get closer to Grace's dinner time, but she'd already eaten the majority of a bag of sweets so she wasn't hungry just yet.

"It's the baby scan tomorrow. It's at 10 in the morning, so we have to be up kind of early. We can go and see Elliot afterwards and in the afternoon I'll take you to see Maria." Connie said, after they had been talking about the film for half the car journey.

"Okay, will we know if it's a boy or a girl yet?" Grace asked, excited to see her sibling.

"Not yet, like I said, that will be next month. You'll be the first to know though." Connie replied, knowing that Grace was excited.

"Okay, will you let me help you pick a name? We could do it over Skype." Grace wanted to help with baby shopping, name choosing, preparations and everything else, but she knew that she'd only be staying in England for the week.

"Yes, that would be nice. I'll let you know the gender then we can discuss names." Connie was getting a lot more excited for the arrival of her second child and she knew that the father wasn't present. Alex was still in hospital with severe injuries as he had no-one to look after him, as Connie never even visited anymore, and he was unable to get back to Romania as he'd injured his back badly and may never be able to walk again.

* * *

After a long tiring day Connie tucked Grace into her bed, glad that her daughter still loved her and that she was looking forward to the idea of a brother or sister, despite living in a different country.

Connie read a story to Grace; she had picked The Cat in the Hat, as Grace fell asleep quickly, going to the land of sleep where there were no worries and no problems.

* * *

 **I was hoping to get this uploaded before tonight's episode so I finished the ending really quickly. Grace's visit may take up a few more chapters but we'll see.**

 **Please leave a review as it makes me a lot happier to see that people appreciate the effort and time that goes into writing.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **This chapter shows the baby scan with Grace, visiting Elliot Hope and Grace's Friend Maria. Sorry this chapter is late but I've been really busy.**

It was the morning of Connie's 16 week baby scan so she had to be awake early to ensure that she'd be ready in time. Grace had once again climbed into Connie's bed during the night, although Connie hadn't realised, so she left Grace sleeping as she went to have a shower.

Connie picked out a black tank top and a blue shirt to go over it, as well as a pair of black trousers to wear, as she knew a dress would be a bad idea at a baby scan. Her plan was to go to the scan, visit Elliot, have lunch at home, and then take Grace to Maria's house.

Connie had a long, hot shower and left the bathroom to see that Grace wasn't in her bed anymore. Connie walked towards Grace's bedroom and knocked on the closed door.

"I'm just getting dressed." Grace's voice called sweetly to her mother.

"Okay, I'll just start breakfast then. It will just be cereal today as we have to go out soon." Connie replied.

"Okay, thanks mum." Grace called back, getting dressed into a pair of jeans and one of the t-shirts that she had bought the previous day.

* * *

In the car Grace stayed quiet as she was still quite tired, and didn't have a lot to say. She sat next to her mum and stared out of her window, occasionally turning her head to look out of the front window. The radio played unnoticed as background noise for Connie and Grace.

Connie was thinking about Grace, social services, and the scan. Although it was her week off work she still felt that there was a lot to occupy her mind and keep her busy. She hated to think of her unborn child's future but it would come a lot sooner than she'd realize and if she was seen as an unfit mother she could face losing her child forever.

* * *

Connie sat in the waiting room with Grace, a few minutes before the appointment was booked for. Due to the early hour, there were not many people waiting to be seen in the waiting room. There were only 4 families, including Connie and Grace. Connie noticed that two of the other pregnant women, both a lot further along in their pregnancies, had their husbands with them. The other pregnant women seemed to be sat with her son and another woman, who Connie presumed was her wife as they both wore wedding rings and were holding hands.

Connie's name was called first so she stood up and held onto Grace's hand as she walked towards the small room.

"Hi, this is my daughter Grace. She's staying with me this week." Connie explained to the midwife, who smiled at Grace.

"Hello Grace. I'm your mums midwife. I'm going to make sure that the baby is okay until it is born." The midwife explained, still trying to work out how old Grace was and how much she understood about children and babies.

"Hi." Grace replied sweetly, smiling at the midwife.

"Okay, Connie. Would you like to get onto the bed and I'll check you over." The midwife said, turning to face Connie.

Connie went over to the bed and sat against the back of the bed as the midwife felt the bump.

Grace sat on a chair next to the bed, which Connie presumed was usually for the father of the babies, and watched curiously as the ultrasound picture showed up on the screen. Grace couldn't help but smile as she saw the picture of the small baby. The sound of the heartbeat was the only sound in the room at the time.

"The baby has a very good, strong heartbeat." The midwife commented, watching Grace's face as the smile spread.

"Thank you." Connie replied, fixated on the image on the screen besides her.

The midwife finished the scan and printed out two pictures, as Grace had requested one to keep for herself.

* * *

"Come in!" Elliot called as he heard a knock on his office door.

Grace entered first, followed closely by Connie.

"Hello Grace." Elliot smiled, happy to see the little girl again.

"Hi Uncle Hope." Grace replied, smiling sweetly. "I'm staying with mum this week so we came to visit you."

"I can see that, it's good to see you." Elliot said, digging into his drawer. "Would you like a doughnut?" He asked pulling out a box of Krispy Kreme donuts.

"Yes please!" Grace replied, taking one from the box.

"Connie?" Elliot asked, holding the box out to the older brunette.

"No thank you." Connie replied politely, as she hated the thought of eating donuts and cake, although she would occasionally.

Elliot took a doughnut from the box for himself and placed the box back in the drawer, under a pile of papers that he also kept in the drawer.

* * *

Connie and Grace arrived home after talking to Elliot for a short while. Grace was, of course, doing a lot of the talking whilst Elliot listened and Connie zoned out as she had heard everything that Grace was saying at least 3 times already.

"Shall we have beans on toast for lunch?" Connie asked, putting her bag by the front door as she took off her shoes.

"Yes, please." Grace replied, copying what her mum did with her shoes as she put them on the shoe rack.

"Okay. I'll put it on now." Connie replied, going into the kitchen as Grace turned on the TV in the living room.

* * *

After lunch Connie and Grace got ready to go out as Connie was driving Grace to her friend's house. When Grace was with her friend Connie would be shopping for food as she knew what Grace liked and disliked to eat.

Connie drove to Maria's house, which wasn't very far away; with the radio playing in the background quietly, neither Connie nor Grace spoke as the silence was comfortable.

The moment Connie pulled up outside Maria's house Grace hopped out of the car and ran to the front door, knocking excitedly. Connie followed behind as Maria's mum opened the door to let Grace inside.

"Hi." Connie said, unsure of how to greet Maria's mum after not seeing her for a long time.

"Hi, would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?" Sarah asked hearing Grace and Maria's reunion in the living room.

"Not right now, thank you. I'm going to do some shopping." Connie replied, deciding that it was best to leave Grace to play with her friend for a bit.

"Okay, well it was nice to see you anyway." Sarah replied.

"Yes, you too. I'll pick her up in a couple of hours." Connie replied.

"Okay." Sarah answered, shutting the door as Connie walked back to her car.

* * *

Connie drove back to Maria's house after she had gone shopping and gone back home to put the food away. Connie had left Grace for 3 hours, but she trusted that Grace would behave and that Sarah would be okay to look after her for the afternoon.

She pulled up outside the house for the second time that day and walked up to the front door as she knocked 3 times.

Sarah opened the door and smiled, calling Grace to tell her that her mum had arrived. Connie smiled as she saw Grace come into the hallway to put on her shoes and coat.

Grace hugged Maria and said goodbye, promising to keep in touch with her. Connie bid goodbye to Maria and Sarah before taking Grace's hand and walking back to the car.

* * *

Once Connie and Grace had eaten dinner Grace sat on her mother's knee as they curled up and watched a film together. It had been a long, exciting day and Grace was very tired, despite the fact it was only 9pm.

When the film was half over Connie noticed that Grace had fallen asleep on her knee but she didn't want to move her away as she looked sweet and Connie was unsure whether she'd be able to move Grace without waking her up.

Once the film had finished both Connie and Grace were asleep so they spent the night in front of the television in each other's arms.

 **Sorry this chapter isn't very detailed, but tell me if you'd like more detail, longer chapters, shorter chapters, ect. This took me a while to write and I've been very busy with work the past couple of weeks. I'll be at my Grandma's in the Lake District from the 13** **th** **so I'll probably have a bit of time to write then but I hope to get something up before I go, even if it is just a short chapter.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **Hi everyone! I'll be staying with my Grandma which may mean that there is time in the evenings to write a bit but I'll be out during the day most of the time, hence why this chapter is late.**

 **There is a mention of Alex in this chapter so I hope you all enjoy.**

* * *

Grace had slept in, as had Connie, as they had not planned on doing anything because they still had a few days until Grace would be returning to New York and they both agreed to have a relaxing day at home, probably watching another Disney film.

As Connie slept she heard her phone go off. She hadn't set an alarm that day so she knew that it must be a phone call. The brunette considered not answering in case it was work asking her to come in but she picked up the phone anyway.

"Hello." She said, sleepily.

"Hello, is that Connie Beauchamp?" A voice that Connie didn't recognise came from the other end of the phone

"Yes, speaking." Connie replied, trying to remember if she knew that voice from anywhere.

"Mr Alex Anghelescu is ready to be discharged today but he will need someone to take care of him or he will have to stay here." The voice, that Connie presumed belonged to a receptionist from ITU, spoke.

"How did you get this number?" Connie replied, trying not to raise her voice.

"Alex said" Started the receptionist, before being interrupted by Connie.

"I want nothing to do with that man, we are not even friends. Do not call me again as I have no place for that sorry excuse for a man in my life!" Connie shouted, angry at the fact that Alex thought she would take care of him after what he had done to Louis.

The brunette hung up and placed her hands on her bump before she heard a small knock on her bedroom door, so quiet that Connie thought she had imagined it.

Grace entered cautiously, as if she was afraid.

"I'm sorry for shouting, Grace." Connie realised the mistake she had made and felt guilty that she had upset her daughter.

"Who were you shouting at?" Grace asked curiously, getting up onto the bed with her mother.

"It doesn't matter." Connie replied simply, not wanting to tell Grace about that baby's father.

"Okay." Grace replied, not wanting to push her mother further if someone had already upset her that morning.

Connie put an arm round Grace as the other one stayed resting on her small bump. The house was comfortably quiet and peaceful, which made Connie reluctant to get out of bed.

"Mummy, when will the baby start to move?" Grace asked, putting one of her hands on her mum's belly.

"Hopefully whilst you're here. It should start to kick within the next month or so." Connie replied, knowing that Grace would be so excited if the baby kicked and she got to feel it.

"It would be so cool if I could get to feel the baby kicking." Grace replied, her eyes widening with excitement.

"Yes, it would." Connie agreed; glad to see her daughter smiling.

The two females sat on the bed, both with a hand placed softly on Connie's slowly growing baby belly, and they stayed that was for a long while until a deep rumble came from Grace's belly.

"You must be hungry. Do you want me to make some breakfast?" Connie asked, sitting up and swinging her legs off her side of the bed.

"Yes please, can you make me some pancakes?" Grace replied, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Of course I can." Connie replied as she went downstairs to make some pancakes for Grace and herself.

* * *

It was the end of the day and Grace was sat upstairs playing on her phone as Connie cleaned the kitchen after her and Grace made a homemade creamy mushroom pasta sauce for dinner that night.

Connie finished putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and wiped the surfaces clean with a damp cloth before going through into the living room to sit down and relax, although she hadn't had a particularly busy day.

Connie's bump was not yet very obvious but it was beginning to show a lot more and she knew that she'd have to announce it to the staff at the ED when she returned the following week. The announcement was not something that Connie was looking forward to, but she knew that there would be gossip if she didn't tell people, although she would not be telling them who the father of the baby was as he would not be involved in the pregnancy or care of the child. The thing that Connie was looking forward to the least was the judgement and questions that people would ask but she knew that she would just have to ignore them all as she carried on with her work as usual, despite social services, until she went on maternity leave.

* * *

Grace had returned downstairs an hour after Connie had fallen asleep on the sofa with the radio playing quietly next to her. Trying to make as little sound as possible, to avoid waking her mother, Grace went upstairs and got Connie's double duvet to bring downstairs. If Grace fell asleep on the sofa she'd usually be carried into bed but she knew that she'd never be able to carry her own mother so she decided that the duvet would have to do.

* * *

 **Sorry it's short and late but I ended up writing the last few bits in a rush to finish. The main plot of this chapter was Alex, rather than Grace and Connie, as it was really just a filer chapter where the Beauchamp's day was spent relaxing in the living room.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Connie tied her trainers and zipped up her hoodie before looking at her reflection in the mirror. She smiled as she realised how different she looked without her high heels, which made her considerably taller, and her smart clothes. Today Connie and Grace were going to the local park as there was a nature walk there which Grace had always enjoyed and a café which served really nice ice cream.

Grace was in her bedroom getting ready to go out in her jeans, trainers, and hoodie, much like her mother. The walk would take just over an hour for her to complete with her mum as there would usually be mud and Grace always stopped to look at birds, trees, flowers, and little bugs.

The two females had eaten some lunch, both having beans on toast, before going on the walk. The morning had been spent reading books and deciding which activity off the list they would do that day. They still had to go to the art gallery and the zoo before Grace left in 3 days' time.

Grace was armed with a camera so that she could take pictures of the wildlife whilst she was out on the walk. Although the only animals that could usually be spotted were birds and uninteresting insects there was the occasional deer hiding in the trees as there was a large forest nearby, but neither Connie or Grace had actually been into the forest.

Grace went into Connie's bedroom as she was ready to go out on the adventure for the day. Connie smiled as she saw how cute Grace looked; the pink t-shirt that she wore was making her look a couple of years younger than she really was. Connie was very excited about the trip, even though it was only a local nature walk, as if reminded her of old times before Grace grew up and moved away.

* * *

Connie drove into the almost empty car park into a space near the door of the cafe and cut the ignition before getting out of the car. Grace also got out of the car, already wearing her wellies, with her camera and a large smile on her face.

Connie locked the car and put the keys into her coat pocket as she didn't have a bag with her. Connie's purse was in the boot of the car along with spare shoes for her and Grace as their wellies would probably be covered in mud by the end of the hour.

The two Beauchamp's set off on their journey for the day, excited for what they may see.

* * *

After 10 minutes Grace had already taken some pictures of birds that she had seen, although none were particularly impressive. The sun was shining down on Holby but was not too hot so the temperature was not uncomfortable if you were wearing a light jacket. Connie and Grace both wore jeans, t-shirts, wellies, and hoodies by complete coincidence.

"Mummy, look at that!" Grace exclaimed, trying to be quiet.

Connie's eyes followed Grace's finger to see a young deer behind some trees. Grace took a picture before the deer could leave, as she knew that the sight wouldn't last forever. The deer hadn't noticed either of the females gazing at it in awe so it wasn't running away in fear.

The young deer stayed still, looking around its surroundings, for almost 2 whole minutes whilst Grace took photos and Connie watched in amazement. A snap of a twig from somewhere in the woods caused the deer to disappear back into the trees once again.

* * *

Back at the car Connie and Grace changed their shoes and put the camera back into the car. Connie made sure she had her purse and car keys before re-locking the car and holding Grace's hand as they entered the café that was placed for people to enjoy meals or snacks after they had been on the nature walk.

As the two entered the café and found a place to sit Connie noticed the peaceful atmosphere in the room; noticing that there weren't a lot of children at the café that day. Usually there would be other families with children under 10 years old but today there was only one other family with a toddler, who was almost falling asleep on her father's lap.

Grace picked up one of the menus that had been set on the table and read what flavour ice-creams were available and what drinks they served at the café. She used to know the whole menu off by heart but it had been a long time since Grace had visited the café and some of the food items had changed or been taken off the menu. She scanned the drink section before choosing a chocolate milkshake and then moved on to ice-cream flavours.

Connie decided to have a slice of chocolate cake with a black coffee, whilst Grace chose the chocolate milkshake and mint chocolate chip ice-cream. Connie walked to the counter to place their order whilst Grace coloured in a picture of Elsa and Anna that had been left on the table for children to colour in whilst waiting with a box of crayons that had also been put on the table.

Grace had finished colouring Elsa when the order was brought over to the table by a young blonde waitress, who looked to be about 17 years old. Grace pushed the picture to the side of the table and placed all of the crayons back into the box as the drinks and food were set out on the table by the waitress.

* * *

As a tired Grace got out of the car Connie smiled at her daughter, knowing that the long walk had taken all the energy out of the 8 year old. Connie felt slightly sorry that Grace was so tired, considering she still had a couple of hours before dinner, but she was glad that her daughter had enjoyed the day.

As they walked into the large house Grace took her shoes off and went straight upstairs to her bedroom, forgetting to take off her coat, to have a nap after the exhausting nature walk she had been on that afternoon.

* * *

Connie and Grace sat at the dining room table together with large servings of vegetarian stir-fry in front of them both. Connie's favourite food was vegetarian stir-fry with lots of vegetables mixed into it. Tonight's stir-fry consisted of egg noodles, carrots, peas, mushrooms, sweetcorn, and peppers, these had always been Grace's favourite ingredients and she would often eat the meal at least once a week when she had lived with her mother.

* * *

After the long day that she had Grace was ready for bed an hour earlier than usual, despite her nap in the afternoon as well. She was dressed in her frozen pyjamas as she kissed her mother goodnight before going upstairs.

Connie had been glad to spend the day with her daughter with no arguments or slamming of doors, the way that it had been before Grace had moved away. Connie came to the conclusion that Grace moving away was for the best as she had repaired her relationship with her daughter, Grace had stopped acting up at school, and Grace also had many more friends now than she did in her boarding schools in England.

Although Grace moving away had been for the best, Connie was standing by her decision to keep Alex out of their lives and she was positive that she would raise this baby properly. Her son or daughter would go to a local comprehensive school and Connie would ensure that social services had no say in how she could raise the child. Connie decided to wait until she had to discuss maternity leave before she mentioned reducing her hours, or even stepping down from her role as clinical lead, to Mr Self.

Connie's life had taken a turn for the best, which she hadn't expected, and she was enjoying her new found happiness.

* * *

 **So I'm going through a lot of mental shit at the moment but I start school again on the 8** **th** **so after that the updates should be more regular and more often. Thank you for your continued support throughout the story so far and if you have any suggestions on how the story should go please don't hesitate to message me as I often have writer's block.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry I haven't updated in a little bit but last week I uploaded the first chapter to a different story called Drunk. For anyone following that story it won't be very long and updates will be irregular but I do have a rough idea of what I want to do with the next chapter.**

 **As for this story social services gets involved in the next couple of chapters so it gets a bit more exciting for the first time in a little while, I think. Enjoy fellow shoelaces.**

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

Grace had gotten the flight home from Holby the previous morning and Connie had spent the day cleaning the house and relaxing for one day before she had to return to work. Even though Connie loved work she loved Grace even more.

Connie was already missing Grace's presence form the large house because over the past week she had grown very used to having Grace around to keep her entertained and she just felt bored now that she was alone once again. Of course, Connie amused herself with the idea of the baby that was growing inside her, despite the negative voice in her head telling her that she was a bad mother and that she could never care for a young child full time, especially a helpless baby.

Connie was due back at work today, although it took a lot of effort to drag herself out of the house that morning. Connie was very tired, despite spending the previous afternoon lazing around the house not doing anything in particular.

The ED looked just as she had left it, although she had a feeling of dread that once she stepped inside the building that she would be hit with an onslaught of chaos and madness that had risen during her time off.

Luckily the ED was quiet, with only a small number of minor patients waited to be seen. All of the cubicles had been filled up with patients, most not needing a lot of care and would probably be discharged within the next 2 hours. Connie was proud of the ED staff for keeping up the good work ethic and not letting the place fall apart completely in her absence.

It was still only early hours of the morning and Connie knew that rush hour had not yet begun so the inflow of patients was bound to rise in the next hour. Concluding to make the most of her quiet time Connie went to her office with a cup of coffee and started filling out some paper work, although Zoe had completed most of it over the past week.

After only an hour all of the paperwork had been filled in and put in the appropriate places. A knock on the door excited the clinical lead, letting her know that there was probably an emergency on the way in that she would be able to treat. "Come in." She called, sat in her large office chair.

Charlie entered and smiled at her. "A young girl is coming in and she is a suspected victim of abuse." Charlie said. "ETA 3 minutes. And welcome back, by the way."

Connie's face dropped, knowing that this would be a difficult patient to treat. "Thanks, I'll be there in a minute, and thank you. It's nice to be back but I do miss Grace." Connie replied, not showing any emotion in the tone of her voice.

* * *

Connie sat back in her office after the young patient had been transferred to a different ward until social services were able to find her and new home, at least temporarily. The girl was around Grace's age and her whole body was covered in bruises and various cuts from her parents' beatings. As for the parents, they had both been arrested and Connie was certain that they'd never be able to lay their hands on another child ever again.

The social worker who had come to discuss the patient's case was also the social worker assigned to Connie's case so she made sure that Charlie spoke to the social worker to give her all of the details about the patient and her parents.

Connie had only been at work for a few hours and was already running out of patients to treat, seeing as though the ED was very quiet that day. She decided to grab a decaf latte and take a short break in case she didn't get the chance later on in the day.

* * *

By the time Connie was due a lunch break she had treated 8 minor injuries patients, the victim of child abuse, and an old man who had been stabbed on his way home from morning bingo. She was very tired and knew that her shift wasn't even half over yet. Connie wouldn't be finishing work until 9 that night, which did not comfort her at all.

The clinical lead walked around the corner from the ED to eat lunch at the café nearest to the hospital. She didn't usually go out for lunch when she was working but today she decided to make an exception, but she kept her pager on her whilst she was away.

The waitresses at 'Sally's Café' were always very happy, and smiled a lot throughout their whole shifts. Connie knew that most of them would be over-worked and under-paid but would keep the job to care for their children and families. Connie chose a table inside and smiled at the waitress as she ordered a coffee and a cheese Panini.

* * *

At 10 pm Connie finally sat down on her king sized bed. Connie had presumed that the rest of her day would be as relaxing as the morning but she had been wrong as a coach had crashed with primary school kids inside it. 2 of the children had died and 6 more had been very seriously injured. Connie had stayed at work almost an hour after the end of her already very long shift to treat the youngest patient from the coach crash.

To top off Connie's difficult afternoon the social worker had rung to organise a meeting with Connie in a couple of days' time to talk about arrangements and other things regarding the unborn child that Connie was carrying. The clinical lead had not had the chance to tell the staff at the ED about her pregnancy at the end of the shift as most people had to stay to treat casualties and they went straight home once they were no longer needed.

Connie sat wondering what would come up in the meeting later that week, although she was wishing that everything with social services would just go away.

* * *

 **This is a really bad chapter but I've been writing it since Thursday so I thought I should get it up sooner rather than later and I crashed on Thursday night so obviously I was unable to write whilst I was struggling with everything. Then on Saturday I was away all day for my Grandma's 70** **th** **birthday party.**

 **I will try to update drunk this week as well as I have a few ideas for future chapters but it won't be a very long story.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 **Sorry for the lack of updates, but as usual I've been busy with mental health, school, and work so there's not a lot of time for hobbies. This is the chapter about Connie's meeting with her social worker, what will happen?**

Connie sat in a waiting room much smaller to the one at the ED as she waited for her social worker to discuss the future of her unborn child. Connie knew that Alex had recovered enough to fly back to Romania and that he would not be visiting Connie again, which she was glad of.

Lorraine, the tall blonde social worker, walked purposefully towards Connie, who felt small compared to the smartly dressed woman who was towering over her. Connie was dressed in black jeans and a grey long-sleeved t-shirt as she would not be going into work that day. Connie was going to try and survive the meeting with the social worker and would then go shopping for baby things.

Connie and Lorraine greeted each other before going into a small office and sitting at a table. The table was set with 3 glasses of water each at a different chair; it was obvious that both parents were often present at these meetings. Connie felt slightly ashamed to be there alone, but knew that criminal money and lifestyle would be no way to bring up a child.

"So, there's going to be no father involved at all during the child's life?" Lorraine began abruptly, taking Connie slightly by surprise.

"No, he lives in Romania, it was a one-time thing and I don't believe that he would be a good parent to my child." Connie replied, trying to stay relaxed.

"Right, okay." Lorraine mumbled, taking down notes. "Do you ever see your daughter Grace?"

Connie was torn between telling Lorraine about Grace's recent visit or lying and pretending that it never happened, although she saw no reason to believe that it would affect her case massively. "Yes, she visited last week, and we talk on skype all of the time." Connie replied confidently, her mind wandering to a happier time when Grace was still a little baby who always wanted to be with her mother.

"Okay, so do you think that you'd be able to provide for the baby properly, with work and another child who lives in America?" Lorraine prodded, trying to get information from Connie.

"Yes, I see Grace during holidays so I'd still have a lot of time with the baby to care for them. And as for work, I would do anything for my children and I would reduce my hours at work before the child would be old enough to go to school." Connie prayed that she was saying all of the right things, knowing that she was thinking about the future of her child.

"Why did Grace move to live with her dad? Was it because she was a problem for you, she was expelled from one school then suspended from another one, and did you wish that you didn't have to care for her anymore?" Lorraine was really pushing Connie, who was trying to hold in her emotions, knowing that it wouldn't help at all.

"No, her grandma had suggested it and Grace was excited for a new adventure, as all children are, and it gave her the chance to see her father more." Connie replied, not telling the whole truth about why Grace had left.

"And do you have any backup support for this child? Is there a friend or relative who could care for the child if you were too busy with work?" Lorraine asked, scribbling notes down onto her notepad so that Connie couldn't see.

Connie suddenly felt a wave of nausea come over her as she fled the room and ran towards the toilets, only just making it in time to throw up. She hadn't had morning sickness in a short while now and she was hoping that it was over with by now, although she knew that it had been bad enough to miss work for 4 whole days when she was pregnant with Grace.

After a few minutes she went back into the room where Lorraine was still waiting.

"Sorry, it was morning sickness." Connie felt small and weak as she sat in this room, no pictures decorating its navy blue walls.

"That's understandable, are you okay to carry on?" Lorraine asked, sipping water from the glass in front of her.

"Yes, perfectly fine, thank you." Connie spoke uncertainly but she knew that she needed to get the meeting over with.

"Okay then, let's continue." Lorraine said, trying to make eye contact with Connie who was staring at a pencil mark on the table.

* * *

The meeting had gone on for a very long time and Connie found herself getting hungrier as the minutes went by. For Connie, the meeting felt as though it couldn't have gone any worse but she knew that to get custody of her child, who hadn't even been born yet, she had to prove that she was worthy and a good parent.

She needed to buy some lunch before going shopping for baby things; she would be getting the nursery furniture today as well as a few clothes for the baby.

Connie went to subway, although she knew that it wasn't very healthy, so get something to eat for her lunch. The subway shop was a short 5 minute drive from the shopping center so Connie decided that it would be a suitable place to stop for a bite to eat to avoid a lot of travelling that day.

* * *

At the shopping center Connie spotted the furniture shop instantly, knowing that it would sell that she needed, such as drawers, a cot, a wardrobe and a changing table. There was a baby items shop in the shopping center as well so Connie would be able to go there afterwards.

Stepping into the shop Connie was greeted by a young woman with straight, black hair that traveled down to her waist, the woman asked Connie if she was looking for anything in particular, eyeing the growing bump that was home to baby Beauchamp.

"Yes, nursery furniture." Connie replied, she was the same height as the shop assistant without her high heels on.

"Okay, and are you looking to get it delivered to your home?"

"Yes, and is assembly available as well?" Connie enquired as she was being lead towards the nursery furniture section.

"Yes, for a small additional fee."

"Right, thank you."

The shop assistant left Connie to look around the showrooms, leaving a piece of paper, a clipboard, and a pen for Connie to write down the item name and barcode number to order the items.

Connie was hoping to go for an oak theme with the furniture as the walls in the room were white and she didn't want the whole room to be white.

She browsed items, managing to write down everything she wanted in less than half an hour, easily being able to find exactly what she was looking for without assistance.

* * *

Connie left the shop after ordering the items to be delivered that day, although there would be no-one to assemble them until 3 days later. Connie knew that it could wait for a few days as the baby wasn't even 17 weeks yet.

Connie went into 'First Steps' that sold baby and children's clothes, it was a very popular shop and Connie hoped that it would be quieter mid-week in the early afternoon. There were many pale colours in the shop from the moment that Connie walked through the doors. There were blue, pink, yellow, purple, and white clothes and accessories as well as many other clothes and toys of various rainbow colours.

Connie didn't know where to go, although she knew that she would be avoiding gendered clothes and accessories as she was still 3 and a half weeks away from being able to find out the gender of her child.

She navigated her way around the shop, glad that there weren't many people there, and picked some simple vests, bibs, Babygro's, and mittens in white before going to find some toys. She knew that you couldn't have stuffed animals in cots due to suffocation hazards but she saw no harm in buying one for the baby to play with, Grace still had a teddy bear from when she was born.

Connie came across a small brown bear with a white ribbon tied around its neck and she knew that it would be great for her child; it was only a small toy and would be easy for a baby to hold onto. She picked it up but decided to carry it around in her hand, rather than putting it into the shopping basket. Connie's only job, for now at least, was to find a small blanket for the baby and she could go home.

* * *

Connie arrived home with the small teddy bear in her handbag as well as 3 other carrier bags of clothes and accessories for the baby. In the near future, probably in a few weeks' time, she would have to buy things like a changing mat, as it didn't come with the changing table, as well as dummies, a car seat, and a baby seat or bouncer to sit the baby in.

She looked at the time to check when the delivery men were meant to deliver the furniture and saw that she only had between an hour and an hour and a half. That was enough time for her to sit and relax with a book for a while to wind down after a long day with the meeting and shopping.

* * *

The delivery had been quick and easy; the men took the boxes to the room and left within 20 minutes. Connie had already paid the full costs, including delivery and assembly, whilst she was at the shop so she didn't have to mess around with card payments and other things more than once.

It wasn't very late but Connie was already very hungry, and decided on ordering a Chinese take-away, although she usually cooked food herself. She occasionally went with unhealthy alternatives, such as take-away or subway, but she knew that she was getting enough nutrients anyway as all of her doctor's appointments were usually quick and easy due to her good physical and mental health.

* * *

Connie knew that there was still a lot of preparation until she was ready to have the baby, and she thought about how it could all be for nothing if social services decided that she wasn't fit enough. She now had to have regular meetings with the social worker, weekly counselling sessions, and go to parenting classes at the hospital. It wasn't going to be easy and there was a very long way to go but Connie was determined to make sure that she could have full custody of her child, knowing that if she didn't the situation with Grace may also get more difficult.

* * *

 **This is where I'm leaving it for now as I think this is a good natural end to the chapter. This fic gives me so much pleasure to write but my life is always so busy and I don't always have a lot of time.**

 **I will try to write a one-shot this week for the anniversary of Jeff's death so look out for that (hopefully it will be up by Saturday).**

 **Also, if you haven't already, please read and review Rita's struggle. I'd like a better name for it so if you can think of one please let me know.**


	15. Chapter 15

The following day Connie went into work as normal, despite the fact that she had a headache and her morning sickness was very bad. She had called Charlie before work to tell him that she was having an admin day and that any problems should be taken up with Zoe for the day.

Connie sat in her office and started on checking her e-mails knowing that her paperwork would only last a couple of hours so she didn't have to work very hard that day. She had taken painkillers about an hour previously but her head still hurt as if she'd been banging it against a wall all night.

There was an e-mail from Grace about how happy she had been to see her mum and about what she was doing now that she was back in America. Connie smiled as Grace's e-mail was a welcomed break in all of the spam and work e-mails that she received. She read some e-mails about staffing, one which was from a doctor hoping to fill a position that had just opened up in the department. Connie read the e-mail and the attached forms, such as his CV and a recommendation from his previous boss. The candidate seemed promising and Connie wanted to have a meeting with him to formally interview him, so she replied to the e-mail hoping to meet with him in the near future to check that he was a suitable candidate for the job. She shifted through many other e-mails before giving up and drinking some water to try to calm her painful head, although it didn't actually help at all.

Connie continued to fill out forms and paperwork as she busied herself, trying to make her office work last all day to aid her physical health. So far since getting into work Connie hadn't thrown up, and she hoped that it stayed that way after the 10 minutes she had spent in front of the toilet that morning before work.

Xxx

The end of the day came and Connie couldn't be more grateful. There had been no major incidents and she had been able to spend all day in her office. Connie had only been sick once after she'd had lunch, which she saw as a minor success; and her headache had finally numbed after 3 doses of paracetamol.

Although Connie had spent all day hiding in her office she still felt exhausted by the time she had eaten dinner, she had only been able to manage a homemade salad, before feeling sick.

Connie decided to read a book for an hour before going to bed early that night, hoping that it would help with how she was feeling by the time she woke up.


	16. Chapter 16

Connie was at home waiting for the men to arrive to assemble the baby furniture. She hoped that it wouldn't take too long because she had a parenting class that afternoon that the social worker had told her to attend in order to have a better chance at being able to keep her baby. Connie knew that the social worker was on her side but that she had to do her job at the same time, of course working in an ED meant that the clinical lead was more than familiar with watching situations similar to the one she was in now herself, where she had to make sure that whatever happened was best for the child.

There was a knock at the door as Connie stood up, finding it more difficult as the pregnancy progressed. She walked over to the front door and opened it to reveal two men who were both quite large and towered over Connie by a good few inches.

"Hello." Connie smiled as she stepped aside to let the men in.

"Hello Miss, we're here to assemble some nursery furniture. Can you just check that this is everything?" The largest man handed a clipboard to Connie with a list of all of the items that they had to put up that day.

"Yes, that's fine. Would either of you like a drink, tea or coffee?" Connie asked, leasing them to the previously spare room which would become the nursery in the next few months.

"A coffee would be nice, thank you Miss." The other man spoke, putting the tool box down on the floor as he checked the clipboard and boxes to make sure that everything was correct. The larger man politely declined a drink as they got to work.

Connie went downstairs to pour a coffee for the man and she could already hear boxes being moved around and opened above her head, at least she knew that they were efficient.

X

2 and a half hours after the men had first arrived Connie was still sat in the living room on her laptop, trying desperately to concentrate on the work in front of her whilst there was a lot of banging and clattering coming from the room upstairs.

She was running out of work to do during admin days when she was feeling sick or when she was out of work as her days were filling up with appointments, meetings, and other baby related things, despite the fact that the baby wasn't actually due to be born for another 20+ weeks.

She typed up notes and corrected mistakes before she checked her e-mails once again, then she decided to check Facebook before going onto Skype to make sure that Grace hadn't tried to call, which she sometimes did if she desperately wanted to talk to her mum.

The men both came downstairs with their toolbox and their clipboard as they had finished the job in just under a few hours.

"We just need your signature." The larger man spoke again, handing the clipboard and pen to Connie for her to sign her name.

Connie signed the paper and handed it back before showing the men out and locking the door.

When Connie had some time later on she would have to move all of the nursery furniture to where she wanted it to be, but that job was not necessary for a good couple of months yes, even though Connie knew that it would be done within the next week.

Connie went into the kitchen and opened the freezer to get a Quorn burger out to have for lunch with a small portion of oven chips, even though it wasn't very healthy it was a lot better than eating out at subway or something else similar to it as she knew that it was unhealthy for the baby as well as for herself.

She followed the instructions and poured herself a drink of water before sitting down at the table to eat. She started imagining life as a mother as she ate her food mindlessly. She pictured herself with a newborn baby, knowing that there was nothing more beautiful in the worlds, and then she imagined a high-chair and her spoon feeding her child. Connie thought about schools, even though she wasn't sure whether or not she was even going to have custody, but a hopeful part of her mind kept her going.

She finished eating her meal before collecting her bag and other things to go out to the parenting class, annoyed that she had to attend even more of these sessions over the course of her pregnancy.

X

The room she walked into was painted a light purple and white, which was probably mean to be calming, and was full of people who were all at about the same stage as Connie in their pregnancy, although some were a little further along than others.

The women all turned to look at Connie, who was slightly late, but no-one seemed to mind too much about her. Connie sat in an empty seat in between two other women who looked as though they would much rather be at home in bed.

Everyone was quiet as a woman who was not pregnant stood at the front of the room, Connie suddenly feeling as if she was back in high school again sat in cheap plastic chairs. The woman at the front introduced herself as Stacey and asked Connie to stand at the front. Connie was aware that there had already been one of these sessions the week before so it was like being the 'new kid' at school, which Connie had been familiar with during her primary school years as she had switched schools 3 times before even starting high school.

"Would you like to introduce yourself to everyone?" Stacey asked, looking at Connie.

"Hi, I'm Connie Beauchamp. I'm 18 weeks pregnant. Sorry, I don't know what I'm supposed to say." Connie apologised, as she sat down again when Stacey nodded.

"Well, it's nice of you to join us." Stacey said, as all the other mums-to-be greeted her with smiles.

"Okay, so today we're going to learn about how to cope with sickness and stress in pregnancy, most importantly how to avoid stress whilst you are pregnant." Stacey started, scanning her eyes over the women sat before her.

Connie zoned in and out as she knew that avoiding stress was very unlikely for her but she was only here to get custody of her son or daughter. She watched as the class were taught breathing exercises and massages that their husbands could do for them to help with stress, of course Connie already knew about breathing exercises and there was no-one to massage her back for her but she pretended to listen to what was being said anyway.

The clinical lead felt very uncomfortable but she knew that coming to these sessions would help with her future, and that is the only reason she was actually here. She already had a daughter, even though she didn't currently live with her, and she'd done all of this before. Of course she'd never attended baby classes but she knew how to change nappies, dress a baby, feed a baby, and do all the other essential things that she needed to know for when her child arrived.

The hour seemed to go by very slowly, as Connie had expected, but when it was eventually over she couldn't be more relieved. Her bum was hurting after sitting down for a long time and her legs were beginning to ache.

She left the room first as the other mums gossiped and stayed back to ask questions and give feedback about the encounter that had just happened. Connie was in no mood for questions and other nonsense like that so she just left with her coat and bag before anyone else.

X

Back in the comfort of her own home Connie took off her heels and her coat before going into the living room to sit down before she did anything else, although she had spent the past 2 hours sitting down to drive and at the parenting class she still felt as though she had been standing for ages.

She sighed deeply as she thought about work the next day and all of the walking she'd have to do then; she'd concluded that she would go insane if she spent another day in her office pretending to do paper work when she was just wasting her own time, plus she loved to be out in the department where she was able to save the lives of patients that came into her ED.

Connie got up to turn the radio on before she went into the kitchen to get a snack for herself as she felt very hungry after denying herself the pleasure of chocolate biscuits at the parenting class earlier on.

X

Later that night as Connie lay in bed she felt the first kick of her unborn baby, remembering the first time she had felt Grace kick and smiling. Connie had so many fond memories of Grace's childhood and she felt as though she'd been a good parent until she sent Grace to a boarding school form the age of 4. It felt so unfair to abandon a child like that and she knew that, if given the chance, she would bring this child up right. Of course, no matter what she did in the future with the new baby it could never make up for what she did in the past with Grace but she would strive to be an excellent parent for as long as she was allowed to.

 **So, I hope you enjoyed this instalment of New Beginnings. I wanted to write a chapter on the parenting class including how Connie felt about the future of her children, especially the new baby. The next chapter will be Connie's first therapy session then chapter 18 will be the gender of the baby revealed and a skype chat with Grace.**


	17. Chapter 17

Connie finished work half an hour earlier than she usually did, which she was glad of because it had been a very difficult shift, so that she could attend her therapy session on time. She felt that social services were forcing her to do a lot more than necessary to have a good chance at keeping her baby, but she knew that she had to do what was right for her son or daughter so that she'd be able to have custardy of them.

She crept upstairs, hoping to stay invisible to prying eyes of people who worked in the ED because only a select few of them knew about the fact that social services were involved with her and her child, and unless they decided that she was an unsuitable parent it would probably stay that way.

She arrived at the office that she was meant to go to for the session and knocked on the door. The door opened before her eyes and a tall woman with straight black hair smiled, greeting Connie happily.

"Hello, you must be Connie. We spoke on the phone earlier this week." The therapist allowed Connie to come in and directed her to a seat where she'd be able to sit. The seat was comfortable but Connie still felt as though she was a child in a school chair in front of a stern head teacher.

"Hello." Connie smiled as she sat down, making eye contact with the therapist before looking away nervously.

"So, how has your day been?" The therapist new to start easy so that the patient would not get nervous or scared and feel as though they didn't want to come back again.

"It's been okay thank you, although I've been very busy." Connie replied, giving some detail whilst also keeping her answer brief.

"Okay, am I right in thinking that you're the clinical lead in the ED downstairs?" The therapist asked, looking through Connie's file, which was mostly information from the social worker.

"Yes, I have been working there for a while now, about a year and a half." Connie replied; looking back briefly on the time that she'd spent so far at Holby.

"Good; and you enjoy the job?"

"Yes."

"So, what is your relationship like with your daughter Grace?" The therapist knew that she wasn't likely to open up quickly, but it was worth a try anyway.

"It's been a lot better since she moved to live with her father; it means that we're not constantly together so we don't get annoyed with each other easily. She actually came to visit recently during her school holiday." Connie replied, smiling as she thought of how happy she'd been to see her daughter the other week after she had been away for a long time.

"That sounds good. Do you think you're ready to handle a child full time, it seems as though there is no back-up carer for your child." The therapist prodded verbally at Connie, making her feel uncomfortable.

"I'm ready, of course I am. It gets lonely around the house and I'm often bored so I would love someone else to care for and protect." Connie was feeling defensive at the comments from the therapist, who was meant to remain impartial.

"There's a lot of responsibility with having a child." The therapist continued pressing at Connie's buttons like this for a whole 5 minutes before Connie collected her bag and left the room walking straight to her car as she ignored the therapist calling for her to come back and talk things through.

* * *

When Connie was back at home she threw herself onto the bed and started to cry, suddenly being hit with thoughts like a tidal wave washing over her and drowning her with images of being alone after the baby was born after she was deemed a terrible part. Grace would be so disappointed and everyone at the ED would judge her terribly, her reputation would probably be permanently scarred by the rejection by social services.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this, the first chapter where Connie is seriously beginning to struggle with the idea of a future without being able to care for her own children.**

 **I'm going on holiday tomorrow to Croatia so I will not be able to update frequently (not that I do anyway, admittedly) but I will try to write in my free time as I shouldn't be busy all of the time that I'm away. I will try to update as soon as possible when I get back on Sunday.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Connie knew that running out of therapy, especially during the first session, without an explanation was a big mistake and that it would probably affect social services decision about whether or not she was fit to keep her child. She was never usually the type of person who gave up easily, which is what shocked her most about the previous evening.

Connie got up for work half an hour early with the hopes that she could go and speak to her therapist with a clear mind before her shift started. The early start had nearly caused Connie to forget that she was 20 weeks pregnant and that she had a scan that day to finally determine the likely gender of the baby, providing that it was sat in the right position. Connie did not know what to expect from the scan because when she had been pregnant with Grace she'd had a feeling that she was carrying a girl, but with this pregnancy she'd felt completely in the dark; not that the gender would matter if the baby was taken from her once it had been born.

Connie got dressed into a loose blouse and a loose pair of trousers that would be comfortable but still suitable for work; although Connie did occasionally find pleasure in the loose fittings of maternity scrubs. Later on in the week Connie planned to go shopping with one of her old friends, Ruby, to buy some baby clothes, toys, accessories, and other essentials that she hadn't already picked up along with maternity clothes that he found herself needing more and more often as the weeks flew by.

Connie's morning felt worse than usual, due to the early start, so she was in an even worse mood than she usually was. Today was probably not going to go very well, that much Connie could guess for herself, but her spirits were lifted at the thought of her baby's gender being revealed as well as getting to video chat with Grace later on in the evening after she had finished work.

* * *

Connie arrived at the hospital and parked in her usual parking space before she walked in the opposite direction of the emergency department towards the office where she hoped her therapist would be, even at the early hour, to try and meet with her and discuss what had happened the previous evening. Connie had already downed 2 large cups of coffee so that her fatigue wouldn't cause her to be in a bad mood that could further harm her chances of being a mother again.

The therapist's office was empty so Connie had to go to the reception desk to ask a young blonde woman about where the older woman was. After being told to wait, but not being given additional information, the consultant's negative mind-set had returned and she did not fancy the chances of it returning soon.

After just a few minutes of sitting down in the desolate waiting room Connie eyed the therapist walking down the corridor. The woman spotted Connie instantly, as she was the only person in the waiting room, and silently beckoned her into the office to sit down on the chair that made Connie feel small, a feeling that she did not like one bit.

"This is about yesterday, I presume." The therapist's voice was condescending and was full of power that appeared to shrink Connie to the size of a child.

"Yes." Connie replied, before deciding that a further response was needed. "My actions weren't appropriate and it is obvious to me that I need to learn how to cope better with stressful or upsetting situations." Connie glared at her own feet; she did not dare to make eye contact with the woman sitting across from her.

"If you let me I can help you do that." The therapist replied, her voice softening at the realisation that Connie was recognising that she required help. "But you have to let me in."

"Do you have any of my old notes?" Connie asked, ignoring the previous statement, as she hoped that the therapist would know about her past in order to make their conversations easier.

"Yes. You had depression as a child but it wasn't picked up on until you were 15. Am I right in believing that the school nurse saw your self-harm scars?" Connie's file sat open on the desk as the doctor scanned the current page.

"Yes, I had cut earlier that day, before school, but the wound reopened when a girl accidentally hit my arm during out PE lesson." Connie tearfully explained the story of how her emotional flaws were uncovered in front of the entire year group that day, made worse by the fact that she had been mostly friendless. "I started seeing someone within the school who worked with the school as a kind of therapist, she actually was a real therapist before she had twins, then he moved to work at my school." Connie explained. "My parents wouldn't organise for me to see someone outside of school."

"And this caused a lot of problems with your self-esteem?" Connie's therapist pressed, trying to knock down her walls to get her to open up about her feelings, as it would all be for Connie's benefit; it would allow Connie to understand and recognise her own feelings and be able to cope with them in order to feel happier as well as giving her a better chance at winning custardy of her son or daughter once they were born.

"Yes, although it was always pretty low anyway." Connie confessed, thinking back to her early teenage years when she felt very alone, amplified by the fact that Connie would not be allowed friends over because her father had never permitted it. Neither Connie nor her mother had been allowed to have friends at the house, which is one of the reasons Connie decided that her mother would be out a lot of the time.

* * *

Eventually, after over an hour of going through Connie's past, focusing specifically on her teenage years, the session ended and Connie returned to work as normal, despite being late. Connie's shift was also meant to finish early so that she was able to get to her pregnancy scan that evening, but she concluded that she could always come back to the ED after the scan if she was desperately needed. Connie was lucky that people feared her, the ice queen, or she may have been questioned about her late arrival, but she was safe from intrusive questions and accusatory statements.

That was until Charlie followed her into her office, although she did not attempt to stop him from doing so.

"Are you okay, Connie?" Charlie asked, but he did not get a reply. "Where have you been this morning?" Connie knew that Charlie was only asking as a friend and that he was not trying to scold her.

"Hansen wanted a word with me about my maternity leave." Connie lied quickly, knowing that she was see through but that Charlie was not likely to question her much further on the subject.

* * *

Connie quickly got out of her office; only a couple of minutes after Charlie had left, and began treating patients almost immediately. The large 20 week bump that she carried was not doing her many favours and made her job quite difficult to do.

Connie treated a young girl who had come in with a suspected broken leg. She was only 4 years old and was very sweet and well-behaved, unlike most adult patients, so Connie felt that it was a pleasure to treat her. The young girl, Molly, asked questions about what being a doctor is like as she explained that she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up. After Molly had said and asked everything she could about doctors she told Connie about her younger brother, Maxie, who was 1 the next day.

The few patients that Connie treated that day were all minors and none of them were particularly violent or aggressive towards her, which made the day seem like it went very quickly.

* * *

Connie's shift had been very easy that day, which Connie did not expect earlier that morning, and it lifted her mood quickly without her even realising it. The department had not been busy, which pleased everyone and made the atmosphere a lot less tense than it usually was.

Connie had forgotten to eat lunch that day but Molly, who she had treated that morning, brought the clinical lead a chocolate bar and a photograph of her younger brother. Connie smiled and thanked the young patient before going to pick up her bag and coat so that she could go upstairs for her 20 week scan.

Arriving exactly 2 minutes early Connie sat in the waiting room patiently, despite the fact that she was excited about finding out whether she was having a baby boy or a baby girl.

Connie was soon called through to the scan room by her midwife and began the routing of measuring and weighing before Connie was allowed to sit on the bed to have the actual scan.

"Your baby is growing very quickly. He or she is getting very big." The midwife commented. "At the start of the pregnancy I was worried that the baby was too small, but that doesn't seem to be a problem anymore."

"That's good." Connie smiled, not knowing what else to say.

"Are you hoping to find out the gender today?" The midwife asked as she smiled and moved the probe around Connie's abdomen, her eyes fixed on the screen in front of her.

"Yes, if that's possible." Connie replied, her eyes were also fixed on the black and white image that showed her unborn child.

"Well, it looks to me like you're going to be having a baby boy. Congratulations." The midwife's words brought tears of happiness to Connie's eyes as she imagined a future with her son. "And he looks very healthy. Would you like a scan photo?"

"Yes, two please." Connie's fridge was bare after pictures of her and Grace had been taken down, apart from one, so Connie planned to have one of the photos on the fridge and another one in her office for when she was having a difficult day at work.

* * *

Connie smiled to herself throughout the whole of her journey home, despite the fact that traffic caused it to take a lot longer than usual. When Connie finally arrived home she put one of the scan photos on the fridge and wrote the times for her upcoming scan and therapy appointments on the calendar.

Connie had chicken nuggets, potato wedges, and mixed vegetables for her dinner to fill her up after her tiring day, especially as she had forgotten to eat lunch. She glared at the calendar, as if it was a nurse who had been under performing at work, as she saw that it was almost over flowing with meetings and appointments that she had to attend, either for work or for her son. The sight made her realise how much she had to go through just in the next month; she did not dare to think any further ahead than that.

She noticed the time before she went over to her laptop, which she had already turned on so that she wouldn't be late for the call, and opened Skype to call Grace.

Grace picked up quickly; she had probably been waiting for her mum to make the phone call.

"Hi mum!" Grace exclaimed, a large smile on her face. "Guess what?"

"Hmm…I don't know. What is it Grace?" Connie pretended to think to play along with Grace before asking to find out why Grace was in such a pleasant mood.

"Dad says that we can get a kitten. And I got a really big part in my school play. And next week I'm going to Stacey's house for a sleepover." Grace was talking so quickly that she was struggling to pronounce all of her words clearly and Connie only just managed to understand what she had said.

"Wow! That's all very good news Gracie. What school play will you be doing?" Connie made sure that she was asking questions about her daughter's life before speaking about the growing baby boy through fear that she might upset Grace or make her feel unwanted.

"We're doing little red riding hood. I'm going to little red riding hood." Grace's burst of energy was used up, but the expression of glee on her face still depicted her excitement. "It's our school's Christmas play. Will you be able to come to it?" Grace looked hopeful but Connie's face visibly dropped at having to break the news to Grace that she couldn't go.

"Grace, you know that I would love to come but…I won't be allowed on the plane because I'll be too heavily pregnant then." Connie explained calmly, hoping not to provoke a sudden burst of anger from Grace. "I am so sorry."

"It's okay. I know that you want to be here." Grace replied; the disappointment in her voice was difficult to cover up.

"I really do. I promise." Connie's voice was soft and gentle, a change from how she usually addressed people at work, in an attempt to prevent hurting Grace any further.

"I have to go." Grace said simply in reply, tears welling in her eyes.

"No, please Grace, I want to hear about the kitten that you're getting." Connie was now also getting upset by not being able to see Grace's show, especially since Grace was the main character in the play and this may not happen again.

Grace went offline leaving Connie alone as the baby kicked gently inside of her. Connie's left hand stroked her bump slowly as her right hand was used to wipe the tears spilling from her eyes, but they were coming too quickly for wiping them away to be effective.

Connie sat for a short while letting her emotions out, rather than bottling them up as she usually did. Once the tears had begun to fall they were difficult to stop as Connie thought about everything that she had to cope with on her own.

* * *

 **My sincerest apologies for not uploading sooner. I wrote this during half-term but I was abroad so I couldn't upload and I've honestly forgotten about it ever since. I will try to write the next chapter soon, I've already started it, but I should hope to have more time during the Christmas holidays.  
** **Also, my mental health has been deteriorating recently with stress about deciding what to study at college and where to apply to.  
** **I am going to aim to write something today but it might not be finished. The next update should be soon anyway because it's already been partially written.  
** **Thank you so so so much for sticking with this story and please know that I do intend to finish it eventually and that I hope that I won't abandon it but life unfortunately gets in the way sometimes. If you've read this story up until this point then I thank you so much I couldn't even put it in words.**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

 _1 week later_

Connie woke up to the sensation of movement coming from her abdomen; her son was kicking. The baby had been kicking gently for the past week, and quite frequently as well, but this morning he seemed more energetic than usual. Connie was starting to work shorter shifts meaning that she had more time for therapy, social workers, and relaxation. The new routine that involved her sleeping in and having time to make proper meals on some evenings was strange to Connie, who had previously been a workaholic, but she was enjoying it all the same.

That day Connie was scheduled to be in meetings all day at work then she planned to get a takeaway pizza for dinner and call Grace to try to fix what had happened the previous week on Skype.

* * *

When Connie arrived at work she went straight to her office to get ready for the first meeting of the day. She was now 21 weeks pregnant and she was increasingly tired, even by sitting down in meetings, but she was glad that he was not constantly running around the ED, especially as she still insisted on wearing her trademark Louboutin's to work every day for as long as possible. The clinical lead took a drink of water from a bottle that was in her bag before she took off her coat and hung it up behind her door.

It was soon time for her to go to Mr Hanssen's office to discuss staff shifts over Christmas, despite the fact that she didn't want to talk to anyone on that particular day; she was mostly worried about the relationship between her and her daughter and she knew that it had affected her work before and that if she did not solve the problems that her and Grace had that the quality of her work might decrease seriously.

When Connie returned to the department for her lunch break, making a beeline for her own office, she was met with Charlie who followed her into her office with a cup of coffee for the both of them, which Connie appreciated.

* * *

The parenting classes that Connie was forced to attend were slowly becoming more bearable and she had spoken to some other the other mothers-to-be, one of which was obviously as unhappy as Connie at being at the classes. Connie still saw the classes as a waste of time because they could not teach her what she needed to know, such as how to bond with the baby properly, and she had already been a parent before so she knew how to swaddle a child and how to change a nappy.

The therapy session that day had also not been very useful to Connie due to the fact that she had been almost completely emotionless for the past 3 days due to fatigue, her strained relationship with Grace, and general stress. The therapist had reminded Connie, rather harshly, that if she did not make an effort to help herself that she may lose her child to social services. The therapist had suggested that Connie returned the following afternoon when she shift finished as both women would have more time to talk then but Connie had not convinced herself that she would return, she had just nodded silently in response.

* * *

Connie did not wait a long time after getting home to call Grace because she knew that if she waited too long that she might never pick up the phone

The brunette woman picked up her mobile phone and scrolled through her contact list before she found Grace's name. Her hand hesitated over the call button momentarily but she was secretly proud of herself when she pressed the red rectangle on the screen.

It did not take long for Grace to pick up the phone, although Connie felt like it had been forever.

"Hello Mum." Grace said; she sounded very tired.

"Hi baby girl. Are you alright?" Connie wanted nothing more than to see her daughter at that moment, but it would never be possible.

"Yeah, I guess. I've had a really long day at school." Grace replied, yawning down the phone. "We were practising for the play."

Connie felt tears well up in her eyes, but she was determined that she would not cry. "Grace, you know that if I was allowed to fly to America to see you in the play that I would do. But I don't make the rules."

"I know that, I just hoped that you'd be here with me." Grace's voice was filled with emotion and it broke Connie's heart.

"Me and your brother will be able to visit you after he is born, but not for a few months." Connie said, hoping that Grace's spirits would be lifted, at least slightly by this.

"I'm getting a brother!" Grace screamed with delight, reminding Connie that the Skype call a week previously had been cut short before Connie could tell Grace the news about the baby's gender.

"Yes, I'm sorry that I forgot to tell you." Connie smiled, glad that she had been able to cheer Grace up, even from a different country.

"That's great news, mum!" Grace squealed as Connie heard Sam enter the room. "Oh, I have to go. It's getting late here."

"Yes, that's okay darling. I love you and I miss you so so so much Grace." Connie felt tears trickling down her face as she spoke.

"I love you too mum and I miss you a lot. Talk soon?" Grace replied, picking up on her mother's emotion.

"Yes, I'll talk to you soon. Goodbye." Connie replied before blowing kisses down the phone and finishing the short call.

Connie could not imagine anything better at that moment than climbing into a hot bath before having an early night in her cosiest pyjamas.

* * *

Connie had fallen asleep as soon as she had lay down on her bed without brushing her teeth or her hair. She had also forgotten to eat any dinner, but her mind felt lighter and she felt much happier in herself because she knew that her daughter loved her.

* * *

 **Merry Christmas! I hope you liked this update.**

 **I will soon be leaving my job (as a newspaper deliverer) so I will have an extra hour every day and I hope to upload more frequently after mock exams in February.**

 **Chapter 20 has been started so I will upload it as soon as it is finished. I might be able to upload something before the New Year, but my mental health has been suffering loads recently so I can't make any promises.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Connie awoke the next morning finally feeling relaxed and fully rested, which was a feeling that had seemed alien to her recently but she knew that if she looked after herself properly that she would quickly become used to the feeling. The day ahead of the brunette held a 6 hour shift before a meeting with the social worker, but Connie wasn't worried.

It was a Thursday so Connie guessed that the Emergency Department would be fairly quiet, especially compared to the upcoming weekend that would bring in drunken teenagers and party animals.

Connie's phone buzzed on the table as she was eating her breakfast. Every morning her calendar would alert her to any meetings or important plans that she had for the day so that she wouldn't forget, although she had quite a good memory. She had to see a patient who had filed a complaint against Lofty a couple of days previously, she had the meeting with the social worker, and she had to find time to go shopping for food because most of her cupboards were almost empty and she was quickly running out of decaf coffee.

* * *

The Emergency Department was a lot busier than Connie had expected for nine o'clock on a Thursday morning, but there had been a car crash not far from the hospital involving 3 cars and 8 casualties.

Connie resolved to treat patients that day, at least for the morning, to help out with people who needed it and because she was finally in a pleasant and approachable mood.

There had been a family of five, both parents and their three children, who had been involved in the accident earlier that morning on their way to school. There were two girls who were twins and were only six years old, which broke Connie's heart, but she continued to pretend that it didn't bother her.

An old man who had been involved in the crash had been pronounced dead at the scene, even though it would have only taken the ambulance less than four minutes to bring him to the hospital. Connie knew how tragic it was that the man had died so close to the emergency department where he could have been treated, but she continued to focus on the patients that were still fighting for their lives in the hospital.

The other two patients from the RTC were a recently married couple who seemed to have been the luckiest casualties of the day as neither of them had life threatening injuries.

* * *

By lunch time Connie needed a break. The twin girls had been moved to ITU whilst their younger brother has been taken into theatre. The parents would make a quick recovery but would need to return to the hospital for frequent check-up appointments over the course of the next few months. The married couple had both been discharged by Ethan after he had checked them over before taking his lunch break as well.

Connie knew that it was days like that which impacted her staff more than others, but those days also proved that her staff were capable of performing well under pressure and that they could cope with stressful situations in the workplace. Connie appreciated how hard all of the staff at the hospital worked, even the ones who did not treat patients, but she would have never tell any of them how she felt.

Connie sat in her office with a cup of coffee and a snack bar for lunch, but she decided to go to the shop once she had finished so that she was able to have a more filling meal that would allow her to keep working for the next three hours until four that afternoon.

* * *

When Connie finished work she had two hours until she needed to meet her social worker so she decided that it was a good time to do her shopping for the upcoming week. Connie knew that if she waited until later to shop that she might put it off and that she would be hungry the following morning.

She changed into some comfier clothes at home and then went out to the local Waitrose that she shopped at on a weekly basis. The shop was near enough that she was able to go there late at night if she desperately needed something for the next day, and she could walk if she didn't plan to buy many items.

* * *

After Connie's boring shopping trip she put all of the food away at home so that the frozen foods didn't go warm and inedible whilst she was at the meeting with her social worker.

Connie also changed back into the clothes that she had worn for work because she liked to make a good impression on the social worker, even though she knew that social services knew everything that they needed to about Connie already.

* * *

When Connie arrived she was getting very nervous and her baby boy would not stop kicking her abdomen; he was very lively. Connie stepped out of the car nervously; she did not have a good feeling about this meeting.

* * *

Connie had been sat across from the social worker for 40 minutes now and she was becoming increasingly annoyed that she hadn't had much chance to say anything and that the chances of her being able to keep her baby were looking slimmer by the minute. This reminded Connie that she had told Grace that she'd visit with the baby a few months after he had been born, despite not knowing whether or not he would actually be hers.

"Well, there is one more thing that I'd like to discuss." The social worker stated, the silence hanging in the air made Connie almost frightened to hear what the woman across from her was about to say. "Your psychiatric history."

Connie froze on the spot as she felt herself about to cry; she knew what was coming. She had made a terrible mistake in the past, but she had been determined to fix that; although she should have known that she can't change what she had done.

* * *

 **Sorry this is so late; I wouldn't be surprised if you gave up reading this. Thank you so so so much to anyone who is still reading, and I appreciate all of the reviews that I get, so feel free to leave one if you have any thoughts or ideas.**

 **One of the reviews that I got last time asked about a Connie/Jacob pairing and I was wondering if anyone else would like to see that, as I would be more than happy to write it because it wouldn't affect the overall storyline too much, it might actually help it.**

 **I left this on a cliff-hanger so hopefully I will write the next chapter quickly, although I am busy on Sunday so if it's not before then it might not be for another week. I am going to try to aim to update at least one story a week, but this one is my main focus because it's my favourite and I'm pretty sure that it's the readers favourite as well.**

 **As usual mental health is really crap so I apologise for the lack of updates, it was last year when I uploaded chapter 19.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Connie angrily picked up her bag and coat and left the small room without saying a word. She was angry at what she had been told. She was sure that she had the ability to be a great parent if given the chance; she just had to prove it. But it was too late. Her legs felt as though they might collapse beneath her if she kept on walking at such a quick pace, but she couldn't slow down.

The social worker had informed her that unless they saw a reason to change their minds before the birth of the baby, she and another member of the team would take the baby into foster care for 12 months. Connie also had that 12 months to see her son and prove her ability to be a mother, but if Connie was still viewed as an unfit mother the foster parents would legally adopt the baby.

Infuriated, Connie drove home, driving less carefully than she usually would, her brain unable to focus on the road. She parked in the driveway of her house and went inside, not wanting to deal with the outside world for as long as she could manage, and locked the door behind her.

She threw her bag, coat, and shoes on the floor without bothering to put them in their correct places before storming upstairs, almost like a teenager, wanting to be alone with her thoughts to comprehend the future and what it had in store for her.

The consultant crawled into her bed and howled heart-wrenching cries without even bothering to get undressed first.

She could not bear the thought that she would be losing her son, especially since she had lost her daughter less than a year previously. Connie had grown to love her son a lot since she had found out that she was pregnant and she was terrified of having all of it literally ripped from her arms so shortly after the little boy's life had begun.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

The next day Connie climbed out of bed at the sound of her phone alarm, although she hadn't slept a wink all night. Connie shuddered at the thought of going to work that morning, especially since she knew that Charlie would pick up on her change in mood instantly and that he would want to support and help her.

Connie wondered if she'd be able to hide the fact that she had no son from everyone at work once he had been born. Of course Connie was not the kind of person who would show off baby photos to random members of staff so there was less likely to be questions about his growth and development and why Connie never brought him into the ED to see other staff members. But she knew that she couldn't keep the secret from Charlie.

And what about Grace? Grace had so desperately wanted to meet her little brother. Connie had even promised to visit Grace with the baby once he had been born, but that was when there was still hope of bringing her chid home. She couldn't break another promise to Grace. Grace; who she had hurt so much. Grace; who she had disappointed many times in her short life. Grace; who now lived half way across the world because Connie hadn't cared for her well enough. Maybe the social worker was right. Maybe Connie really was a terrible mother.

With a deep sigh Connie undressed slowly and went into the ensuite bathroom to have a shower in a pathetic attempt to seem presentable for her shift.

* * *

Once Connie walked through the main entrance to the ED she was hit with a foul smell of vomit. Jacob Masters, a nurse who had not been working at the ED for very long, approached her with a cheeky grin that appeared to be permanently tattooed to his face.

"Mrs B. Nice to see you." The male nurse winked at Connie but Connie was not in the mood for his silly games that morning.

As the brunette consultant walked towards her office she was stopped once again by Jacob. "You do realise that there is a flu outbreak at the moment. Y'know, maybe you ought to be at home for today." Jacob commented seriously, which was rare for him. "Don't want you or the baby to get ill now, do we?"

"Well, I have some paperwork to do, so I'm sure that I'll be fine." Connie replied harshly.

"Then why don't I take you out for dinner tonight? To reward you for doing lots of paperwork; you've been very busy recently." Jacob smiled cheekily at the clinical lead who felt like scowling at him.

"No, I'm good. I've got my own dinner." The next thing that Jacob was aware of was the door to Connie's office being slammed in his face.

Charlie had seen the event unfolding from 20 feet away, but he decided that he would leave Connie to calm down by herself for a while before going to see how she was doing. He walked past Connie's office and heard her sobbing; it took all of his strength not to go in and comfort her at that moment, but she needed time to herself and there were many patients that needed treating.

* * *

Charlie's shift seemed to drag on slowly and it appeared to take forever until he was able to get a break to visit Connie, although he was convinced that she still wouldn't be alright.

The white haired nurse approached the office door quietly and cautiously, as if Connie was a wild animal that could kill him if she were to be startled by sudden noise or movement.

A knock at the door was unexpected for Connie because many members of staff did not want her or the baby to be at risk so she wasn't meant to be treating any patients to lower the risk of infection. Still, Connie granted entrance to whoever was on the opposite side of the door.

Charlie entered the small room with a nervous smile which made Connie feel slightly more at ease.

"Charlie, what can I do for you?" Connie mustered a smile with some difficulty as she was trying to appear strong in front of Charlie, despite the fact that the pair knew each other very well and he was not a random nurse.

"Well, I actually came to ask you that very same question." Charlie sounded concerned for his boss. "I've noticed that you've not been yourself today."

Connie sighed deeply as her eyes began to water which instantly caused Charlie to worry because he knew that it took a lot to make Connie cry, especially at work.

Charlie knelt down next to Connie and looked into her eyes. "Connie, what's wrong?"

"I screwed up, Charlie." Connie's voice sounded weak and exhausted, which perfectly matched the way that she was feeling inside.

"Come over here." Charlie's calming tone calmed Connie and did not aggravate the headache that she already had. Charlie sat on the sofa as Connie joined him and let loud sobs jolt her small frame, causing the baby to kick.

After feeling as though she had been crying for hours Connie took a deep breath in and sat up straight once again. She finally felt as if she could physically speak without breaking down.

"I've never seen you this…distressed. Is the baby okay?"

"They're taking him away from me." Connie whispered; her voice and heart broke simultaneously.

Charlie wrapped around his arm around Connie's shoulders and gently drew her closer to him, although he was not confident that it would actually comfort the woman sat next to her.

* * *

Connie finally emerged hours later from her dark office to treat a man who had been stabbed and was currently in RESUS, which was free from the flu virus.

Connie walked as confidently as ever towards the bed where the patient lay surrounded by Jacob, Charlie, and Zoe whilst Rita was trying, unsuccessfully, to calm another patient at the opposite side of the room.

"The patient was stabbed but the knife was removed causing severe blood loss. We've tried giving him more blood but he's losing it way too quickly, we're not able to replace it rapidly enough." Jacob explained, keeping firm pressure on the wound and staining his hands red with the other man's blood.

"Okay, keep the pressure on and continue to push the saline through. He's at a dangerously high risk of going into cardiac arrest so I don't want him moving anywhere just yet." Connie replied, although her voice was not as confident as it usually was. "I want him in theatre the moment that he's stable enough though."

Zoe went to call theatre and Charlie checked the patient' vital signs, which were deteriorating rapidly. Suddenly, before Connie's mind could even register the change, the patient's heart stopped. She hesitated for a short moment before she started chest compressions; her body was running on auto-pilot.

The team worked effortlessly in an attempt to save the man's life, but after 10 minutes they all agreed that it was just not possible to save him.

After a moment of silence Connie left RESUS and Jacob quickly left as well. Connie could see that Jacob was heading towards the staff room but she stopped him whilst he would still be able to hear her without other people listening in on the conversation.

"Jacob. If it's alright with you I would like to go with you to dinner tonight. If the offer is still available, that is." Connie was nervous but she knew that she needed some human company to stop her from going mad or making a decision that she would later regret.

"Yes, of course. I'll pick you up after the shift." Jacob replied before turning back towards the staffroom where Lofty, Robyn, and Big Mac were sat.

Connie knew that it had been a bad day for her, but she wanted to end it by going out with Jacob because she knew that if she was being honest, he did make her feel comfortable and better about herself.

* * *

 **The next chapter will be short and will be the dinner between Connie and Jacob.**

 **My weekend was crap so I did no writing and this week I have exams all week but I will try to write as much as possible, just be patient.**

 **I'm so excited for Saturday's episode, I hope that it's going to be as great as I imagine it to be.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Once Connie and Jacob were seated at a table for two they both visibly relaxed after their stressful shifts at work. The couple both felt overworked, although Connie's heavy salary almost compensated for the fatigue, whereas Jacob's comparatively reduced salary did not make up for the amount of effort that he put in. Since Jacob had started at the ED he had barely spoken to Connie, but during their shift that day it felt right to have each other for company.

"So, shall we share a starter?" Jacob asked politely, wanting to know what Connie preferred to do, rather than take charge himself, although that's usually what he would do. Jacob, although not fully aware of Connie's situation, was mindful that Connie was having to cope with a noticeably stressful family situation; it was obvious to most of the staff that Connie was exhausted and that she was not as joyful at the prospect of being a mother as people had expected her to be.

"Yes, sure. Anything vegetarian." Connie commented, glancing at Jacob who was reading the menu as if it was his favourite book.

"You're a vegetarian?" Jacob questioned, making eye-contact with Connie from across the small table.

"No, I just don't like having meat in my starters. Never have." Connie smirked as she replied, knowing that her meal would probably not be too high in meat products in case it caused indigestion due to her pregnancy.

"Okay then, what about some dough balls?" Jacob asked as Connie skimmed through the drinks section in the menu in front of her.

"Okay. I think I'll just have some tap water to drink."

"Okay then. I'll have lemonade, I think." Jacob replied as he watched the woman who he was hoping to learn more about over the following couple of hours.

A waiter quickly came over to their table to take the couple's drinks and starters order before leaving again to allow the pair some more time to choose what to eat for their main course.

"So, other than you, what looks good?" Jacob asked Connie with a cheeky smirk on his face.

Connie shook her head at him. "I don't look good. I look tired and fat." She replied bluntly; it had been a long time since she had looked in the mirror and thought that she was beautiful.

"I think you look great." Jacob commented, his smile softening into an understanding one instead of a cheeky grin.

"You have to say that or you'd be paying for both our meals. And I've been eating like a pig recently." The brunette woman smiled slightly before burying her head shyly into the menu.

Jacob continued to look at his menu trying to decide what to eat – everything looked so tasty.

"I think I'll have a margarita pizza topped with black olives and pepper." Connie finally decided out loud.

"I'm going for steak. Not very healthy, but that doesn't matter. I like steak." Jacob grinned as the drinks were brought over to their table along with a tempting basket of warm, fluffy dough balls.

"Do you know what you'd like to have for your main course?" The waiter asked after he put everything down on the table.

"Yes, we do. I'll have the steak." Jacob replied before gesturing to Connie to say what she wanted.

"I'd like a margarita with olives and pepper for toppings, please." Connie smiled politely at the waiter who took their menus off them. "Thanks."

"Okay, anything else?"

"No, thank you." Jacob spoke as he and Connie both shook their heads to signal that they were happy with their orders.

"Okay, let me know if you want anything else." The waiter walked away as Connie sipped on her drink, trying not to make eye contact with Jacob.

"So, what happened to the stab victim from yesterday?" Jacob decided to start the conversation simply with work related topics so that he didn't push Connie too far at the very beginning of their date.

"He went to theatre. He's still alive but there's a very high chance that he's not going to make it." Connie replied, glad that the first question wasn't about her unborn baby. "16 years old and his life could already be over."

"Sometimes I hate my job for that reason." Jacob agreed, smiling sadly at Connie.

"Yeah, but we saved the life of that little girl a couple of weeks ago. She was only 2 years old and we saved her life." Connie remembered a little girl called Lily who had fallen down the stairs a couple of weeks previously and was badly injured, but Connie and the team at the ED had managed to save her life. "Her parents still have a child because of us."

* * *

After talking more about work over their starters the waiter brought over their meals.

"The steak?" The waiter asked as Jacob raised his hand slightly to show that it was his meal. "And the margarita with black olives and pepper." The waiter placed the large pizza in front of Connie who smiled.

"Thank you. Would I be able to get another glass of water please?" Connie asked as the waiter nodded and walked away from the table.

Jacob and Connie both picked up their knives and forks and began to dig into their meals. Jacob's meal came with some chips and a salad on the side, whilst Connie's pizza came with no sides as it was a full sized pizza; although Connie didn't think that she'd be physically able to eat anything after her pizza as well as the dough ball starters that she'd had.

* * *

"So, how's the baby doing?" Jacob asked Connie as both of them took a drink; they had almost finished their meals.

"Developing well." Connie replied stiffly, her posture suddenly changing from relaxed to defensive and cold.

"Is everything alright sweet cheeks?" Jacob was worried that he'd somehow over stepped a line, but he wasn't sure what he'd said or done. Surely there was nothing wrong with the baby?

"Yeah…I umm…I err… I have to…go." Connie stuttered quickly as she picked her bag and coat and walked as quickly as possible out of the small restaurant.

Once Connie was outside the building she realised how cold it was and how harsh the wind was that night, but she knew that if she stopped to put her coat on Jacob would catch up to her and ask too many questions that she wasn't ready to answer.

Jacob's heart had almost stopped when he realised that something was wrong with either Connie or the baby when she had left the restaurant in a hurry. He knew that he had to follow her, although she probably wouldn't like that idea much. Jacob asked for the bill so that he wouldn't get in trouble, although that should have been the last thing on his mind, and quickly paid, leaving a very generous tip.

Jacob knew that driving to Connie's house, where she was most likely to be, was much quicker than walking and she had already had a head start so he got into his car and drove to Connie's house, praying that she would be there.

* * *

Jacob parked right in front of Connie's house before sighing with relief at the sight of the house being lit up from the inside; that must mean she was inside. He practically leaped out of his car, forgetting to lock it in his haste, and ran to the front door. His strong fists struck the front door three times so that he could be sure that Connie was able to hear him, and so that she couldn't ignore him.

After just seconds of waiting Jacob was met with Connie's tear stained face; it was obvious that she had been crying, although she had tried to hide it as best as she possibly could.

"Jacob."

"Connie."

Silence.

"Can I come in?" Jacob asked politely, although he had no back-up plan if she denied him access.

Connie simply nodded her head and stepped sideways to allow Jacob to come into the house, if she hadn't been so cold from simply having the door open for less than a minute she may have not decided to let him inside, but she was already close to shivering and he did not want to be ill.

Jacob walked confidently into the front room of Connie's house as she followed after him shyly, despite the fact that they were in her house. But Connie's house with Jacob stood in the middle of the front room made the house seem much less familiar, as if it did not belong to her. Connie suddenly realised how long it had been since anyone, let alone a man, had been inside her house.

Jacob approached Connie slowly, once it was apparent that she would not be making the first move, and stopped mere inches from her. "Connie, tell me what's happened. Please?" Jacob's tone was smooth and calming and almost made Connie want to let all of her feelings out to him right in that very moment, but she knew that she'd only regret it later on.

"I…I can't, Jacob. It's too much." Connie had been so close to telling him, but she stopped herself. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise. I'm here to listen to you because I care about you." Jacob tried to reassure the stubborn woman in front of him, but he knew that he wasn't getting very far.

Connie took a deep breath and snaked her hands around the back of Jacob's neck before she pulled him into a passionate kiss. In that moment Connie couldn't think of anything but Jacob's soft lips on hers as she used her tongue to deepen the kiss further.

The couple stood for a few minutes kissing, craving each other more with each passing second, until Connie abruptly pulled away.

"Go." Connie expected her voice to come out as strong and confident, although that's not how she felt on the inside, but instead it came out as a low mumble.

"Con-"

"I said GO!" This time Connie's voice echoed through the house and caused the walls to feel as though they were vibrating.

Jacob was taken aback by the sudden outburst of anger and he left quickly to avoid upsetting Connie even further, although she had kissed him.

As Connie heard the door shut behind Jacob as he left she fell to her knees and cried tears that were full of emotion and hurt. Before everything had happened tears had been a rare occurrence for Connie, but now they seemed to fall all too often.

* * *

 **The storyline is going to move forward much more from now on, and Jacob will be partially involved eventually. Thank you if you're still reading this.**

 **I started writing this ages ago but there's been a lot going on for me at the moment and I'm in a very bad place mentally at this point in time so I apologise that chapter updates are infrequent. I finished writing this when the Wi-Fi went out on Sunday night but I wasn't able to upload until now.**

 **Saturday's episode broke my heart. Ethan! Connie and Jacob bed scenes! Emotional Dylan! All the feels all at once. Why do the BBC do this to us?**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Connie had called Hanssen and explained that she was ill, although she was really just taking the day off work to avoid having to leave the house. The phone call had been dragged out for more than 20 minutes, despite the fact that Connie had hoped it would take less than 5.

Connie hadn't left her bed all morning, and she didn't plan to get up at any time in the foreseeable future. Her swollen stomach reminded her of what she was going through for her unborn child every time she attempted to curl up in a foetal position to be more comfortable. The baby inside of her kicked in protest as Connie tossed and turned in an unsuccessful attempt to get comfortable and, as the baby was growing much stronger now, it was beginning to feel painful.

A year previously Connie would have resented herself for taking a day off, if not to catch up on paperwork, but now she couldn't bear to leave the comfort of her bedroom. The logical part of Connie's brain told her that isolation would only make her feel worse, but the part of her brain that craved peace was stronger and appeared to be winning this particular fight, at least for the time being. Connie hadn't noticed herself changing overtime, since it had been a gradual difference, but looking back to the way she used to be, it was obvious that she was no longer the Connie Beauchamp that everybody knew and feared.

Connie desperately tried to get back to sleep, knowing that she could temporarily block the world out if she did, but the natural light creeping around the edges of her black curtains and the sound of the world outside beginning to wake up and start the day made it an almost impossible task.

Being unable to sleep only served to worsen Connie's mood, but she couldn't bring herself to get out of bed without feeling that her legs would simply collapse beneath her weight. Instead Connie lay awake in bed thinking about the future, the one that she would probably not be allowed to share with her son, who was currently blissfully unaware of how cruel the world could be and how much hatred there was in it. The thought that Connie could lose her baby forever reduced her to tears, because she knew that she would also not be allowed to see Grace again – she was going to lose everything. This thought alone was worse than any nightmare or fictional monster that she could ever think of. Connie prayed that the silence that filled the air and chocked her, like hands snaking around her neck, would one day be replaced with the cries of her baby boy.

* * *

Connie sat up and glared at the clock on the wall. It was only one in the afternoon. Without leaving the bed Connie picked up her phone and opened her e-mails, with the intention of reading only some of them, but not replying to them. Finding that 40 out of the 57 e-mails that Connie had received were useless she deleted them, and upon seeing that 8 of them were urgent she put the phone back on her bedside table; it would have to wait.

* * *

Eventually Connie gave up trying to get to sleep, as it was obvious to her that she wasn't at all tired so she got out of bed to turn on her bedside lamp and choose a book for her to read to herself to fill the endless, empty hours. She picked up 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' and collapsed back onto her bed, ignoring the rumbling sound coming from her stomach. With her demanding job Connie barely ever got time to read for pleasure anymore, and she couldn't remember the last time that she'd even read a book.

Every so often throughout the day Connie's phone screen flashed to alert her to a text or a phone call, but she ignored it every time because she had no interest in speaking to anyone until she felt better.

Connie often spent the majority of her time on her phone, whether it was to check e-mails, read text messages, making phone calls, or doing some research to do with work – she felt as though she was super glued to her phone most of the time – so the break from staring blankly at the screen was a welcome one, and by mid-afternoon she was beginning to think that she could get used to ignoring it and taking time for herself.

But Connie knew that, eventually, she would have to get back to her normal working life and continue as usual, forgetting about this isolated period of time so that she did not feel tempted to come back here again.

* * *

 **This story should be updated more regularly, but with shorter chapters than usual.**

 **Thank you for everyone who has reviewed the story so far and thank you to all of you who are still reading the story, it means so much to me that I still have fans out there.**

 **In just over 1 week I start my GCSE exams and my mental health is pretty bad at the moment, worse than it's been in a very long time, so updates might not be as often as I'd like them to be, so bear with me.**

 **If anyone has any suggestions/improvements/comments, please let me know. Thanks again!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Connie hadn't left her bedroom for 3 whole days, other than to occasionally get food from the kitchen. She hadn't showered and she hadn't been eating as much or as often as she should have been, which she knew could also be causing harm to her baby, and not just herself. Connie knew that she had to stop feeling sorry for herself and that she had to do something that day, even if she didn't manage to go to work.

Connie switched her phone on, after having it off for the night, and waited for it to start up whilst she went to the toilet.

When Connie came back she saw missed messages from various people at work, which she decided she would read or delete later on, as well as a calendar event for that day.

 **Social worker visit – 11:30am**

Connie was surprised she had forgotten, since she usually has the dates and times of all her appointments burned into her mind.

She looked at the alarm clock on her bedside table.

 **10:00**

Connie had less than an hour and a half to get herself sorted, although she wasn't sure it was even possible when there was so much to do.

The first thing Connie knew she needed to do was to shower so that she didn't smell bad for the social worker, who would be quick to judge her if she thought that she wasn't taking care of herself properly. Connie went back into the bathroom and turned the shower on before returning to the bedroom. She opened the windows in the bedroom wide, despite the cold weather outside, and then did the same for the windows downstairs – she needed to get fresh air in the house to get rid of the horrible smell of bad hygiene and cleanliness.

After Connie's shower she sprayed air freshener and get dressed, before closing the windows again because the house was beginning to get too cold now. Shrugging on her black hoodie with a fleece lining she went downstairs to tidy up, knowing that the social worker was unlikely to come upstairs this time.

By 11 o'clock the living room, dining room, and kitchen were as tidy as they were going to get, although it was still obvious that Connie hadn't cleaned properly. Realising that she hadn't eaten yet, Connie made herself a bowl of cereal and sat down to eat.

After washing up the bowl, spoon, and mug from breakfast Connie heard the doorbell ring. It was only 20 past 11.

Smoothing down the invisible creases in her top Connie went to the door and let the social worker in.

"Hello Connie, sorry I'm a little early." Lorraine followed Connie through to the living room and sat down on the 3-seater sofa that sat against one of the walls.

"No, it's alright. Do you want a cup of coffee?" Connie put on a fake smile and pretended as best as she could that there wasn't a foul, but faint, smell drifting around the house. "I don't have any sugar in at the moment; I need to do some shopping this afternoon."

"You don't have work this afternoon?" Lorraine's eyebrow raised in question, almost accusing Connie.

"Umm…well…yes…well, no." Connie stuttered and took a deep breath in, trying to calm herself down. "I…I've had…cramps…so I'm taking today off to talk to rest and…shop."

Hurriedly Connie went through to the kitchen to make 2 cups of coffee, noticing the raised eyebrow of the social worker sat in her living room.

"Are they bad? Or have you gotten them checked out?" Lorraine called from the living room as Connie returned with two steaming cups of coffee.

"Well, I had similar ones with Grace, and they were nothing. It's just the baby growing." Connie knew she hadn't seen her midwife recently, and she was also aware that social services may also know this, but she hopes that they were staying out of her business just enough to be avoiding conversations with her midwife.

"Right, well if they do continue then we do expect you to talk to your midwife." Lorraine sipped at her bitter coffee – it had been made with too much water.

"Yes, of course. I just have a lot to do with the baby and work, and shopping, that extra appointments that aren't necessary seem like they'll just waste time." Connie was unsure that she was even saying the right thing, even though she had always said the right thing before she got pregnant, she wasn't sure whether or not that was the case anymore.

"Right. And when did you last meet with your midwife?" Lorraine questioned, placing her coffee on the table for a minute.

"Well, it was when I found out the gender at 20 weeks." Connie had also made her own coffee with too much water, a habit she found herself falling into more and more over the past few days.

"Right, and that was 2 weeks ago. Okay." Lorraine returned to drinking her weak coffee and made a couple more notes. "Then there are still a couple of things to discuss."

"Okay." Connie was nervous about what the social worker would say, although she was sure that it couldn't be worse than snatching her baby away from her.

"Firstly, as you may or may not be aware, you are allowed to appeal against the court order. This would give you a chance to prove that you'll be able to be a responsible parent." Lorraine placed her empty mug on the coffee table in front of her. "But I must warn you that these appeals are most often not successful."

"So, I could have custody of my son?" Connie's mind desperately whirred and buzzed, thinking that she hadn't lost all hope just yet.

"Well…yes, hypothetically. But it has less than 50% chance of being successful." The warnings that Lorraine gave were ignored. "You'd need a solicitor."

"Right, thank you." A mumble came from Connie's mouth that made her sound much weaker than she really felt. "I think you already know that I'm going to try it."

"Yes. The other thing we need to discuss is how this week has been." Lorraine knew from the badly masked smell and from Connie's appearance that she wasn't as fine as she was trying to appear.

"It's been fine." Connie shot back her answer the moment Lorraine had finished speaking, almost cutting her off.

"Connie. You need to be honest with me. I can tell that you've tidied quickly and that the house hasn't otherwise been tidied in a little while. I can also tell that you're not your usual self. Speak to me. You have to look after yourself if you want to get your baby back."

"I…umm…I…I'm struggling." This confession felt like Connie was confessing to murder and, as a tear slipped down her cheek, she felt completely helpless. She knew that the way she was acting would not help her with her son, but the logical part of her mind had been taken over and replaced by a part of her mind that was slowly giving up.

"I know. And I know that admitting it isn't easy. We'll get you talking to a psychiatrist again, and we'll give you some extra support." Lorraine took notes again, which seemed to be all she ever did other than bring people bad news.

"What type of extra support?" a frown quickly grew on Connie's face as she wished that she could go back to her self-loathing in bed for a couple more days.

"I can get you a support worker. They'll do some home visits with you, every one to two weeks and make sure that you're doing okay and that you're not struggling. They can support you mentally." The idea of a support worker made Connie want to go back to bed even more, since she used to believe that her house was her private space, but since Lorraine seemed to show up all of the time, and there would now be extra visits from someone else she didn't know, it quickly seemed as though Connie's privacy was being invaded.

"If you think it will help." Sighing deeply Connie reluctantly agreed to let a support worker also become attached to her case.

* * *

Lorraine had finally left and Connie had eaten lunch before she decided to go out shopping. Connie needed food, toiletries, and more baby items so she decided to go about 10 miles into the center of Holby and do a large shop around the various shops to buy everything that she was looking for.

With a 22 week bump Connie was finding it increasingly difficult to move around, especially around many different shops, but she knew that she had to go shopping and that she would be way too tired to shop in the city centre, or at all, once she was nearing the 30 mark in her pregnancy.

The first, and most important, shopping trip was the food.

It took 46 minutes for Connie to buy all of the food that she wanted and needed for the next 2 weeks, and she decided that she'd be able to order food online afterwards, at least until she'd had the baby. By the end of the shop Connie had bought necessary foods as well as a lot of treats for herself including; ice-cream, some cupcakes, and a bar of dark chocolate.

After all of the food shopping was in the boot of Connie's car she drove further into the center of the city to park in the multi-storey car park that she would keep the car in until she had bought everything else she needed.

Next Connie decided to buy toiletries from boots. The aisles in the shop were filled with coloured bottles constantly trying to grab the attention of naïve customers who would buy anything with a pretty label, but Connie knew what she wanted.

After buying the desired toiletry items for both her and the baby, Connie walked over to the till and payed for the items before heading into the bookshop next door.

Waterstones was the one bookshop in Holby that actually felt like a bookshop, since all the small independent ones had shut down and WHSmith felt more like a stationary shop, and Connie knew that she could spend forever browsing the aisles of the shop and she'd never be able to buy all of the books that she wanted.

* * *

Connie had returned to the car once again with the shopping from boots as well as the books she had bought in Waterstones. After filling a bag with toiletries and another 2 bags with the books, a bag of books for herself and another bag of children's books for the baby, she didn't want to carry them around with her for the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

Another 3 hours later and Connie had finally returned back to her home. The bags of shopping were all still in the boot of her car, and some had been put in the back seats as well as the passenger seat since there wasn't enough room, since she was too exhausted to bring them inside; she had spent 4 and a half hours in the city centre and she felt as though she could never bare to go shopping again for as long as she lived. There were easily more than 10 bags of grocery shopping, the two bags of books, the bag from boots, another 3 bags of baby clothes, 2 bags of clothes for herself, and another half-full bag of other random bits and pieces that Connie had managed to pick up whilst she was out, including a cheap pair of shoes that were going to be comfy and roomy for when her feet were really swollen due to the pregnancy.

Subconsciously Connie knew that everything she was buying for the baby may be used by someone else, but she was hoping that if she was prepared to keep her baby then she would be able to act like social services had never been involved and that she had never been questioned over her ability to care for and love her own child.

There was pasta and cheese sauce in the fridge, so Connie decided that all of the shopping could stay in her car until the following morning, when she would also be hoping to go into work for the first time in what felt to her like a lifetime.

 **Sorry it's been so long, but recently I've not been happy with anything that I've written. I am as happy with this as I am going to be, so I hope you enjoy it.**

 **I aim to write more in the summer following my exams, and there's only 2 more weeks left of them, so hopefully I can move this story along a little bit.**

 **I want your opinion – should I keep the story at a steady pace and use filler chapters, or should I try to move the story along quickly with some time skips between chapters. This would probably be until the end of the pregnancy.**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

It was Connie's first day back at work in almost a week, and she really wasn't looking forward to it, the only consolation was that she had gone to bed early the night before and she was now well rested and had enough energy to get her through the day. She knew that people would be really supportive, or at least some people would, but then she would have to admit to the people that she worked with that she was struggling to cope with work and the pregnancy – it would also require her to admit that she may lose the baby.

By the time she got to work the department was already quite busy, a there had been an accident involving 3 cars, as well as two people who had jumped off a building in a suicide pact, but had survived long enough to be brought into the hospital.

Connie made a beeline for her office before she began to treat patients, knowing that any time alone that she got was going to be appreciated when she was running around the department like a headless chicken.

X

By the time Connie was due a break the department was almost over-slowing with patients, although most of them were not suffering from life-threatening injuries. Even though Connie was desperate to sit down and have a drink, she kept working through her break, knowing that everyone else in the department would be doing the exact same thing that day.

The woman she was treating was in cardiac arrest and the team who had been treating her had been trying to revive her for over 20 minutes now, but nothing was happening.

"We need to call it." Connie's voice was loud and sharp in resus, where almost everyone was silent.

"Yeah. Are we all in agreement?" Jacob was still performing CPR on the patient, until everyone agreed that the woman was dead. He stepped away from the bed and took a deep breath.

"Time of death 10:43." Connie announced the death as a nurse covered the patients head with the blanket. "Well done all of you."

With that Connie left the room in search for more patients to treat.

X

It was lunchtime and Connie could have very easily worked through her break once again, but she knew that she would feel ill and would possibly faint if she didn't eat. She was only going to take a short break to give her some energy and then she would get right back to work.

That was her plan.

But Connie ended up falling asleep on the sofa in her office after she had eaten. Charlie and Jacob had both been in to ask her if she was going to be back in the department any time soon, but once they saw her sleeping they both decided that she probably needed a good rest and that she was likely to be exhausted.

X

Connie woke up after an hour and had to remember where she was – at work. Praying that she hadn't been seen by anyone whilst she was asleep, since that would be embarrassing as well as unprofessional, she brushed her hair and sorted out her clothes to make it look as though she hadn't been sleeping before she went back to work to treat people.

As Connie stepped out of her office, glad that she didn't snore in her sleep, she headed towards the reception counter to collect patient files and get on with treating people, since she still had loads of time left on her shift.

The file at the top of the ever-growing mountain was a young girl who was pregnant and had fallen down the steps at home, although she didn't seem to be seriously injured and she had managed to bring herself to the hospital.

"Jodie Kent?" Connie stood by the reception desk as her patient walked towards her.

"Hi. I'm Jodie." The young patient, only 17 years old, had long brunette hair that looked almost similar to Connie's own hair, although Jodie's was a little longer.

"Hi. So you're 5 months pregnant, right?" Jodie nodded silently at Connie's question. "Okay, and you're not in pain but you just wanted to get checked over, correct?"

"Yes, I did. It's better to be safe than sorry." Jodie followed Connie through to cubicles and sat on the bed whilst Connie drew the curtains around.

"Alright. I'm just going to give your belly a quick feel and check that there isn't any bruising, or any possible injuries to your ribs either.

X

An hour later Connie was able to show Jodie out the door with the good news that nothing was wrong with her or the baby, but she advised Jodie to talk to her midwife the next time she was due an appointment with her.

Connie was glad that she had been able to take an easy case that had ended well, as this was one of the reasons she really loved her job. It had almost felt like an extended break since she wasn't working too hard and she was able to sit on a stool in cubicles when she was speaking to patients.

X

At the end of Connie's shift she was so glad to be able to go home and sleep, knowing that she was becoming tired much more easily now that the baby was growing quickly inside of her.

During the day Connie had called a solicitor and organised her case for court to appeal against the court order; she was determined to keep her son.

 **Sorry this chapter is so late, but I honestly forgot about this story. I feel like people aren't as into this story as they were in the beginning. What do you think?**

 **I'm going to have a few time skips as I don't want to drag this story out too much longer, especially since I have other, more recent stories to focus on as well, so this one will probably get updated less regularly than some of my other stories, but I wanted to write this chapter to let people know that I have not abandoned this work.**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

It had been weeks since Connie's temporary recluse and it was coming up to her date in court. She had asked Charlie to come with her as she needed support from friends, both emotionally and so that social services could recognise that she had resources of support if she ever needed help with the baby.

She was now 26 weeks pregnant and was growing very quickly, almost fitting perfectly into maternity clothes already, not sure what she would have to resort to once she was almost full-term. She was going into work to treat patients two days a week, going into work three times a week to do admin, and she was staying at home on the weekends to either rest or do more admin, depending on the amount of paperwork that she had to complete that week.

It was the Saturday before the court hearing and Connie was finishing the weekend's admin, which was almost done whilst eating take-away pizza and occasionally talking to her growing bump.

"We're almost done here, baby, then we can go to bed. It's half past nine; I'm getting exhausted." Connie spoke softly whilst rubbing the bump with the hand that wasn't writing out notes.

Just as Connie had finished speaking there was a knock at the door. "Or not." Connie said to the bump, who kicked gently in reply, as she wandered towards the door to greet her unannounced visitor.

When Connie opened the door she found that Jacob Masters was stood behind it. "I know it's been a few weeks, I didn't want to annoy you or upset you, but I do want to talk to you."

"You might as well come in then, I was just working on some paperwork." Connie replied, stepping to the side to allow Jacob to enter her house and take his shoes off.

"I hope I'm not interrupting, I just wanted to say a few things." Jacob explained himself as he went through to Connie's pristine living room. "I mean, I don't have a ten minute speech prepared or anything like that, but I think we should talk."

"Good, speeches usually bore me." Was the only response from Connie.

"Me too. Here's the thing…I want to be with you, and I know that scares you and probably makes you feel rather vulnerable-" why did he have to be so good at mind-reading? "-but I think that if you let me in and let me support you then I could be a great help to you."

"I…there's just so much going o-"

"Exactly, that's why you should let me help you. In whatever way you need me too." Interrupting Connie was never a good idea, and Jacob knew that, but he needed to be heard for Connie to understand his intentions.

"Can we take things slowly at least?" Connie questioned, considering how much she wanted to be in a relationship with Jacob. He was kind, loyal, handsome, supportive, and he was usually very happy – and Connie needed all of those things right now.

"Yes, of course. We can do it however you want, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable." Jacob was stood about a foot away from Connie, but he decided to walk forward a few inches to lessen the gap between them.

"Okay. We can try."

X

Two days later Connie was due to be appearing in court to appeal against the court removal order to take away her baby. Her anxiety levels were through the roof and she had lost the ability to sit still. She was waiting at home for Charlie to pick her up, since he had offered to take her to court.

The minutes ticked by slowly and the agonising wait almost appeared like it was never going to end.

Finally, Charlie arrived and knocked on the front door of Connie's house, although she had already seen him coming out of his car towards the house so he hadn't really needed to knock.

Connie let Charlie into the house, offering to make him a drink before they went out, but he politely rejected, having had a coffee right before he left his own house.

"How are you feeling about today?" Charlie asked, sat next to Connie on the sofa.

"Terrified." Connie's response was not harsh, but it was a bit too sharp. "Sorry, I just don't want to lose him before I even have him."

"I know, losing a child is difficult." Charlie consoled, thinking about how Grace already lived half way across the world, and how losing her son could drive Connie over the edge.

"We should get going, we don't want to be late." Connie changed the subject quickly, realising that continuing the previous conversation would have ended in talking about Grace, which she didn't want to have to do today of all days.

The drive to court was almost silent, other than a few words exchanged and the low volume of a CD that Charlie kept in the car, which Connie was thankful for since the drive to court was almost 40 minutes long.

X

Connie left the courtroom discouraged, although not completely hopeless. The court had informed Connie that they were not fully confident that she would be able to handle looking after the baby, but that this was not the end of the road just yet. Connie would still be given chances to redeem herself, both leading up to the birth and following it, but that they would begin to look for appropriate foster parents anyway.

Charlie and Connie sat in the car, parked in the car park, for a short while, neither knowing what to say to each other. Any words of comfort from Charlie would most likely not be very useful, as much as he hated to admit it, and Connie was sure that she could not speak without crying.

"Why don't I take you back to mine for dinner?" Charlie broke the increasingly awkward silence, knowing that it would not be wise for Connie to be alone right away.

"That would be very kind, thank you." Tears pooled in Connie's eyes as Charlie started the car and drove back to his house.

 **Honestly, I have no idea about what happens in courts in the circumstances, although this is based loosely on a true story of my step-mum, so I'm mainly just skipping the boring (and probably factually incorrect) bits. I want Jacob to feature more heavily in the next chapter, maybe on a date with Connie.**

 **Sorry I haven't updated in ages, I've been very busy and I almost completely forgot about writing. I hope to make a steadier routine once I begin sixth form in a little under a week, but I have no clue what the work-load will be like or what my timetable will be yet.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

 _4 weeks later_

Connie was getting ready in her bedroom to go on a date with Jacob in a couple of hours' time. She was wearing a maternity dress that hugged her bump nicely, without making her look weird. The dress was a loosely fitting knee-length red dress that was rather plain, but still quite fancy. She wore black flats with it, since she could no longer walk properly in high heels, and a silver locket around her neck with the letter 'C' engraved on it.

The consultant was 30 weeks pregnant and only had ten weeks before the baby was due to be born, which scared her more than she cared to admit. She had Jacob and Charlie to help her, but she often wished that she had more than that. She wanted Grace and her baby boy.

The following day Connie was due to have a meeting with the social worker, who claimed to have a plan which she had not yet told Connie anything about, other than that she wanted to meet Connie to discuss it in detail. This meant that Connie would have to take the morning off work that day, which would have been spent doing admin, so she would probably have a busy weekend ahead of her. She and Elle were now joint clinical leads to make the workload easier for Connie.

It was now an hour before Jacob was meant to pick her up, since he had organised the date and wasn't telling Connie where they were going to go. Connie was sat on the sofa watching television and trying to think where Jacob could be taking her, since she felt that he was picking her up too early to eat dinner, or at least to eat in Holby.

X

The car ride with Jacob was spent chatting and laughing the whole time, Jacob telling funny stories and the odd joke as Connie sat back and listened, laughing at all the appropriate moments.

"That dress really is lovely, where did you get it?" Jacob was admitting his girlfriend as they stopped at a red traffic light.

"This was from EBay, I think. I ended up buying quite a few things off there. I won't be wearing maternity clothes forever so I didn't think it was necessary to spend loads of money. Second hand EBay items are great for price." Connie replied, smoothing out subtle creases in the dress. "You look great too."

"Always for you, baby."

X

It took an hour and 20 minutes to arrive at the restaurant where Jacob had taken Connie for their date, since it was outside of Holby. It was actually on the beach. The restaurant had one large window that took over the whole wall on one side of the building and looked out onto the shore and the sea.

"This is the most beautiful place I've ever been." Connie was taken back by the outstanding view, especially since Jacob had specifically booked a window seat. The sky above them was still light blue, but the sun would soon be setting over the horizon.

"Anything for you. So you've really never been here before?" Jacob questioned as the couple read the drinks menu, neither of them opting for alcoholic drinks that night.

"No, never." Connie read the list of soft drinks and finally decided on a glass of apple juice. "I'm not the kind of person who goes to the beach a lot at all. I've been a few times with Grace during a couple of summer holidays, but that's about it."

"We should plan a holiday. Maybe Grace could come too. Somewhere in England, but with a beach as well." Jacob loved his suggestion, but the look on Connie's face told him that she did not see it the same way. "Is everything okay?"

"We're meant to be taking this slowly. Right now, _we_ are not a family." Connie picked up the food menu that lay next to her on the table to avoid looking at Jacob, predicting that she would not want to see the expression on his face.

"You're right, sweet cheeks. I'm sorry." Jacob also picked up the food menu next to him, already disliking the way this date was going.

X

By the time the couple's food arrived it was as if the tension between them earlier on had never occurred. They were smiling and laughing with each other, although neither of them dared to mention the future.

The couple had both ordered a pizza each, with Connie's appetite enough to feed a small army, and they were sharing a side order of seasoned potato wedges. They thanked the waitress as she walked away with a smile.

"So, since when does Jacob Masters, fitness freak, eat an entire pizza to himself." Connie's eyebrow rose as she questioned him.

"Everyone had their cheat days." Jacob retorted, taking a large slice and biting as much as he could off, knowing it would make Connie smile.

Connie carefully cut her slices in half so that they were in more manageable bites, as opposed to Jacob who was practically unhinging his own jaw to eat the pizza.

X

Connie finished her pizza, most of the potato wedges, and two slices of Jacob's pizza which he was too full to eat. The couple mutually agreed that dessert would be too much for the both of them.

The couple enjoyed another drink together before Jacob paid the bill and they left. For a while the pair sat in the front seats of Jacob's car and watched the ocean beneath the night sky, a few stars visible above their heads.

"Why don't you stay the night?" Connie queried, knowing that it would be a step in their relationship that they hadn't taken yet.

"But I don't have any clothes with me, or pyjamas." Jacob replied, thinking logically despite the fact he really wanted to spend the night with his girlfriend.

"Well, you probably won't need any pyjamas." Connie winked at him, smirking sexily. "And you can go home to change before your shift tomorrow, you don't start until 10 because you swapped with David, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. And as for the pyjamas, I reckon I can do without them." Jacob began to drive, since they both already had their seatbelts on, desperate to get home as soon as possible knowing that Connie was promising once they reached her house.

 **I think I'm going to leave it there. The next chapter should be the meeting with the social worker. Things do get a lot more exciting from here, so bear with me through this chapter, which I wanted to write because I love Jonnie so much haha.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

 **Couple of notes before we get started: College is very stressful at the moment, hence the lack of updates, but I will try my best to upload more often (I have mocks next month but after that), and if you read 'the invisible baby' you will know that a few of my stories have been discontinued for the foreseeable future due to stress, mental health, and college work. Also, I have no clue what I'm doing with this story atm so if you have anything you want to see written (including separate one-shots) then comment or message me to let me know.**

 _The following morning_

Connie awoke to kisses trailing up and down her neck, her toes curling in pleasure at the sensation. Opening her eyes, she remembered what had happed the previous night with Jacob, and how she hadn't wanted to be with anyone in the world but him.

"Good morning beautiful." Jacob grinned realising that Connie was awake.

"Morning." Connie smiled, a very genuine smile at Jacob. For a few minutes she completely forgot the drama and chaos that was taking over her life, as she had the night before, and all she felt was happiness and she was content.

"What time are you in today, sweet cheeks?" Jacob asked, sitting up and away slightly from Connie.

"I've got to start in…2 hours." Connie stated, looking at the clock on Jacob's side of the bed. "I'm finishing early today to go to the stupid parenting class."

"You're still having to go to them, even though you're going to…" Jacob knew about the baby, and about social service's decision, since the pair had discussed it, but he wasn't comfortable approaching the subject with Connie, knowing what it was putting her through.

"Yes. If I go then I might still have a chance, if only a small one." Connie's face fell, the smile quickly vanishing from her features.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could help." Jacob felt helpless, even more so than Connie, but so did Charlie whenever it came up in conversation between himself and Connie. Nobody knew what to say or when to say it.

"Me too. But you do help a little bit." Connie reassured, smiling slightly at Jacob.

"Well, that's always good to know. Why don't I help some more by making breakfast?" Jacob suggested, sitting up and sighing in content at the domesticity of the situation he was sharing with his girlfriend.

"That would be lovely. I'll just have some jam on toast, nothing fancy." Connie replied, sitting up and taking a sip from the cup of water on her bedside.

"Yeah, of course. And coffee?" Jacob questioned, despite already knowing the answer. His guess was confirmed when Connie nodded.

After a brief peck on Connie's cheekbone, Jacob wandered downstairs to make coffee for the two of them to prepare them both for starting the day.

X

Connie and Jacob both left the house at the same time, Jacob wanting to go back to his own house to shower and change before beginning his next shift. The couple took their time kissing one another goodbye on the doorstep before getting into their respective cars and driving in opposite directions.

Connie had really enjoyed herself with Jacob, and although she wasn't quite sure whether or not she was in love with him, she definitely loved being with him and how he made her feel as if everything would be okay, despite her challenging circumstances with her unborn baby. She was getting so used to being around Jacob and she was beginning to regret taking the relationship so slowly, but then she realised that if it moved too quickly she would get scared and end up alone again.

By the time Connie had arrived at work her mind was clear of Jacob, although she was sure that when he arrived at work later that morning that he would find his way back into her brain within minutes. She had to focus on her work though, at least for now.

Connie was mildly surprised when she entered the usually bustling emergency department to find only a few patients waiting to be seen and a calm atmosphere. The staff seemed to be working just as hard as always, but they appeared to be less stressed and over-worked as they usually did. But surely this would just be the calm before the storm.

The clinical lead walked through the department towards her office to drop her stuff before treating the small number of patients that were in the department. Before she went back out, Connie decided to take a minute to herself, since she rarely ever got the chance to do so at work.

As the clinical lead walked back through reception, picking up a patient file from the top of a small collection on the desk, as approached Noel, who didn't seem to be doing anything. "Why are we so quiet today?" she asked, directing the question at the receptionist but looking around the department.

"Oh, I don't know. Just one of those days, I suppose." replied Noel, now pretending to look busy in the presence of the clinical lead. Frowning slightly, although not necessarily at Noel, Connie called out the name of her first patient of the day.

X

Throughout the day a steady stream of patients were admitted to the department, but hardly any with life threatening injuries, and the department were able to transfer or discharge patients almost as often as new ones arrived. Although the day had been less stressful and more relaxed than usual, the shift had dragged on for everyone and mostly everyone agreed that it was a boring shift, with no major incidents giving them anything exciting or interesting to do.

It was 4pm when Connie left the department, going upstairs to where the parenting classes took place. Although she didn't enjoy them, she was optimistic that they would give her a second chance with her son, and it gave her something to do that wasn't work where she didn't particularly have to focus on anything for an hour.

X

The remainder of the week, only one more work day for Connie, passed similarly and when the weekend arrived Connie found herself with minimal paperwork to complete over the course of the two days and by Saturday lunchtime she was bored. She didn't mind having the chance to relax, but a whole day and a half felt like too much, and she knew that she would inevitably end up obsessing over the social services situation.

The following week didn't hold much for Connie to look forward to, other than another parenting class and her first meeting with her support worker, which she did not look forward to.

 **Okay, I am very unimpressed with this chapter myself, but I thought the first little part was pretty cute and fluffy. I will try to upload another (and better) chapter as soon as possible but with homework, revision, and two other stories it isn't likely to be particularly soon. Sorry.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Thank you to TheBeautifulNerd who commented on the last chapter with this idea. I'll be skipping a few weeks, as I have done in this chapter, for quite a bit of the story since I want it to move along. I'm hoping to be able to upload shorter chapters in the future, for all stories, so that I can upload more often, since this fic has been left since January.**

 **Also I have changed my name on here to the same as my Tumblr URL and AO3 account. On my AO3 account I've got one or two Berena stories for any Berena fans, so you can check that out if you like.**

Connie had been at work for less than 2 hours and hadn't had the chance to sit down at all since entering the chaotic department. It was a Saturday night and the emergency department was packed as usual with drunk students, along with the usual cuts and scrapes that were seen in the ED on a daily basis.

Connie was working the night shift to cover for Elle, who was off work with a stomach bug. There was a mountain of paperwork in the office, as usual, but the clinical lead knew she had to focus on treating patients and getting them out of the department as quickly as possible to stop the staff becoming too overworked.

Connie had specifically told everyone that she didn't want any special treatment or light duties because of her pregnancy, and her wishes were granted, but on nights like this she did sometimes with she could use the pregnancy as an excuse to take a break.

Surprisingly, no patients had thrown up on Connie yet, but it was still early into her shift and she had a feeling she wouldn't manage to stay clean all night.

Charlie and Connie were now stood outside the entrance of the department waiting for a patient to arrive, a victim of a hit and run.

The ambulance pulled up and as the doors opened Iain began reeling off information about the patient's condition. She was young, only in her early 20's, and looked as if the car had hit her at a very high speed.

"We need to stabilise her enough to take her up to the trauma unit upstairs when they've got space, Charlie." Connie quickly observed, taking the patient through to resus.

"Right then, I'll call AAU." Charlie stated, walking across the room whilst Connie and a younger nurse treated the young woman.

Once there was space on the trauma unit the patient was wheeled upstairs by a porter, with Connie by her side in case her heart stopped. Connie stayed upstairs to help treat the patient with Bernie Wolfe and Serena Campbell, knowing that an extra pair of hands treating a patient in such a critical condition could be the difference between life and death. Eventually, Connie's pager went off and she rushed back to the ED where she was needed the most.

Back in the ED the patients seemed even more restless than before, and the place was even fuller of people waiting to be seen by doctors and nurses. Connie had been paged to resus and as she arrived she realised that there was a fight between two patients that David, Max, and a security guard were struggling to break up.

"I want him in bay 1, him in bay 5, and screens around the two of them, now!" Connie barked, taking some control of the situation in seconds.

Connie walked over to bed 1, leaving David to deal with man in bed 5, since his injuries were less serious. Connie's patient was larger and older than she was, and he appeared to be the person who was causing all of the trouble.

"So, what happened?" Connie asked, looking at the cut on her patient's head and the bruises covering his hands.

"HE…" The man began to shout, before being cut off by Connie.

"I just need to know how you got this cut on your head. You leave him alone." Her stern tone and stare shut the man up, before he admitted that a beer bottle had cut his head. "It's going to need stitches, I'm afraid, but only a few." Connie administered some local anaesthetic to numb the area as Robyn entered the room.

"Mrs Beauchamp, there's a girl called Ruby, self-presented as a patient, she's asking for you by name."

"Right, can you stitch Mr Roberts' head and keep him under observation for an hour; I'll go and see to her. Thanks Robyn." Connie walked out of the room, towards cubicles.

X

As Connie approached the bed she saw her niece, looking at the floor as she sat on the edge of a hospital bed.

"So, missy, what's happened here then?" Connie pulled the curtain around, giving the teenager a warm smile as she perched next to her on the bed. "Another argument at home?" Connie guessed, noticing that Ruby was alone.

"Err…I guess." Ruby paused, Connie waiting for her to speak again. "Self-harm, again."

"Well, if you let me take a look I'm sure I can help. I'll have to call your mum though, it's too hectic here tonight for me to leave and take you back home." Connie sighed, wishing she could be there for her niece more than she could, wanting to help the troubled girl.

"Thanks, aunty Connie."

"Okay, can I take a look then?" Connie didn't speak as she inspected the lacerations on her niece's wrist; none of them were too serious though. Ruby was a lot like Connie so the consultant knew that pushing the girl to speak would cause her to close up more.

"It was Liam again, you know?" Ruby murmured, referring to her younger brother who was usually the reason Ruby sought help from her aunt. "He's such a-" She paused again, looking up. "Well, he's horrible to me, and to mum."

"Right, and something happened tonight?" Connie pressed, cleaning the wounds as gently as possible.

"Well, yeah. He was throwing stuff and shouting. I don't even know why." The teens body language was closed and tense, a warning to Connie that she wasn't comfortable speaking about it.

"Okay, well luckily for you these cuts are just going to need steri-strips." Connie stated, standing up from the bed. "How about I talk to your mum about you coming to stay with me for a night, at some point next week. It'd probably be good for all of you to have a bit of a break from each other."

"Really? That'd be pretty cool."

X

Once Ruby was finished been treated and Connie had called her mum she took the young girl to wait in her office.

"Unfortunately I can't stay with you, but I will come back and have a chat with you and your mum when she gets here. I've also had to contact your social worker, and she wants to meet with me, you, and your mum in the next couple of days." Connie explained, passing a bottle of water and a banana to the teenager.

Connie's next patient was a 5-year-old girl who had fallen down the stairs, but wasn't seriously injured. The young child was shy and upset, but Connie managed to take her for a CT scan and an x-ray on her arm to confirm a fracture.

Fortunately, the CT scan came back clear, so the girl was sent home in an arm sling with some prescription painkillers.

By the time Ruby's mum had arrived at the ED it had been more than 5 hours since Connie had last eaten and she was exhausted, on top of that she was also experiencing mild but concerning cramping in her abdomen and lower back. She tried ignoring the cramps as she spoke to her sister, who she rarely had contact with, but feared for her baby throughout the 20 minutes.

When Ruby and her mum, Jessica, left the ED Connie rushed to the nurses office in the hope of finding Charlie. Entering without knocking she only found Jacob going through a large pile of paperwork.

"Jacob, is Charlie here?"

"No, he's been called to resus. Is there anything I can help with?" Jacob replied, putting his pen down as he noted the worried look on his girlfriend's face.

"Err…yeah, I guess. It's the baby. There's cramping, it's getting more painful. It doesn't feel like labour, and the baby isn't moving." Connie replied, barely taking a breath as she spoke.

"Okay, let's get you to the on-call room and then check on the baby, yeah?"

X

Once the couple were in the on-call room Connie lay down on the bed as Jacob held up a Doppler, which would allow the couple to hear the baby's heartbeat.

"Okay, I'm going to try and find the heartbeat with the Doppler, but if I can't we might need to get you up to obs and gyne." Jacob reassured, placing the Doppler where he thought he was most likely to be able to hear the baby's heartbeat.

The room was silent. Connie's eyes widened with fear as Jacob move the Doppler around her swollen abdomen.

"You're 32 weeks now?"

"36." Connie corrected, just as the silent room was filled with the quiet sound of the baby's heartbeat.

"There we go!" Jacob grinned. "The baby must be in an odd position to find the heartbeat here, and since it's quiet I think he'll have his back to us, so he'll be curled up facing your spine."

Connie nodded, tears of relief falling down her cheeks. "Thank you Jacob. I'm sorry I was so worried, I mean I know they don't move much at this stage, but I just thought that I might…"

"It's fine Connie." Jacob reassured as her voice trailed off. "You get yourself home, you're only a couple of hours away from the end of your shift anyway."

"No, I can do paperwork." Connie debated, knowing that what she really wanted was to go home.

"I'd rather you rested. I'll come to yours when I'm done here, yeah?"

Once Connie agreed to go home Jacob went to find Charlie and Dylan, telling them that Connie hadn't felt well so he had checked her over and told her to go home.

X

A couple of hours later Jacob left the ED after finishing his shift and drove straight to Connie's house, where he saw her through the window talking to her bump.

Jacob knocked on the door and waited for Connie to let him in, offering him a cup of coffee as she took an empty mug into the kitchen.

"Coffee would be lovely." Jacob responded, leaning on the kitchen island. "I didn't think you were allowed it pregnant?"

"I'm drinking herbal tea, actually. I have 1 coffee a day at the beginning of my shift, but it's not going to kill him." Connie smiled, flicking the kettle on and waiting for it to boil.

"Reminds me, have you named him yet?" Jacob raised an eyebrow, looking down at the large bump.

"That was Grace's job. We skyped a few days ago and she'd like him to be called Landon. Personally, I love that name." Connie replied, leaning against the kitchen counter across from Jacob, but not quite close enough for them to touch.

"It's nice. I think if I had been able to name a baby at age 11 I would have chosen something ridiculous."

Connie laughed, knowing the same was likely to have been true for her. "Grace is 12, actually."

The couple laughed and joked over their hot drinks in the kitchen until deciding to go to bed, both of them worn out after their long night shifts at the ED.

"I'm so glad I don't have to work nights regularly." Connie stated, in her pyjamas and under the duvet, waiting for Jacob to get comfortable and turn the bedside light off on his side of the bed.

"I bet you are."


	31. Chapter 31

31

 _6 months later_

It had been a little over 6 months since Connie had given birth and she had been in contact with her baby at the contact centre where the social worker and foster parents were always in the same room with her and the baby, ensuring that the two didn't have any time alone. The social worker had now agreed that Connie would start seeing the baby alone and spending a short time with him to start the process of getting him back into her custody. Connie, her social worker, and her support worker who she had been seeing regularly were scheduled to have a meeting in a few days' time to discuss the exact plan.

Meanwhile, Grace had been shutting Connie off as she felt lied to about her brother, who she still hadn't seen since his birth. Connie had been desperately trying to apologise to Grace, and to communicate with her through Sam, so that she was able to explain herself. Connie hoped to get the baby back so that he'd be reunited with her, but also so that Grace could see that Connie was not lying and could finally get to meet her baby brother, who had taken the name Landon from Grace's suggestion.

Jacob had been supporting Connie throughout the remaining few weeks of her pregnancy and the 6 months since then, and the couple had been living together at Connie's house for a few weeks. They didn't talk much about the baby, other than days where Connie was visiting him, because it was a sensitive subject for her and mostly just made her upset when anyone brought it up.

At work Hanssen and Charlie were both helping Connie to stay focused and do her job, as she insisted she wanted to, as well as ensuring that she looked after herself physically and mentally whilst her baby was in foster care.

X

Connie was at work and had nearly finished her shift, and since Jacob had been off work all day he was at home cooking her dinner whilst she checked her e-mails one last time and shut off her computer. It had been a long and busy shift where she was constantly treating patients or trying to fill in as much paperwork as she possibly could in the limited time she had.

Connie finally arrived home, after driving through heavy rain and getting stuck in traffic, and her dinner was ready and waiting for her on the table. Jacob hadn't started eating yet but it had only just been made so luckily it wasn't going cold.

"So is this meeting the day after tomorrow?" Jacob asked, hoping that Connie wasn't going to be too angry at him bringing the subject up over dinner.

"Yes. I'd rather not talk about it right now." Connie replied, trying not to be too harsh. "I can't control what they say or the outcome or anything like that, so I don't want to worry about it until then."

"Of course, sweet cheeks."

"Anyway, this food is amazing." Connie praised, motioning to the noodles in front of her.

"Thanks. I made the sauce all myself, but the noodles are just shop bought." Jacob replied.

"Even my mother couldn't make pasta from scratch, and she was the best cook I ever knew." Connie smiled, remembering the fantastic meals she was given as a child, when her parents could afford all of the ingredients. "She'd save up money just to go to a better quality supermarket and buy all of the ingredients she needed to. That was her version of a rainy day fund."

Connie had never spoken much to Jacob, or anyone, about her childhood or her family, but since starting to live with Jacob she was slipping small details into conversation, knowing how much he loved hearing it.

"My mum, somehow, was better at making microwaved meals than anyone else in the house. That sounds strange, but seriously they just tasted better, and I watched her sometimes, to make sure she wasn't adding extra ingredients or flavours, but it turns out she was magic at that one specific thing." Jacob revealed, laughing as he heard how stupid he must sound, but Connie smiled and didn't make any suggestion that she didn't believe him.

For the rest of the evening the couple talked about their past, neither giving too much away, as they had the radio on in the background and candles lit around the living room.

"I mean, it's true!" Connie half-shouted and half-laughed as she was retelling stories from her childhood.

"That's crazy." Jacob chuckled.

"Crazy but true."

"I'll have to take your word for it."

As it got later and later in the evening the couple watched some TV together before heading up to bed, both of them having to get up early for work the next day.

 **Okay, so I've been writing this instead of my personal statement because I haven't written anything, especially for this story, is so long and I think it will be good for my mental health. I decided to skip ahead to an interesting part of the story to avoid having more than half of my story being made up of filler chapters that you readers won't enjoy.**

 **As always, I hope to start updating all my stories more often, but I shan't promise anything. Anyway, let me know what you think of this.**


End file.
